Ten Foot Pole

By Stadtjaeger
Self Published
Generic/Universal
"Low/Mid Levels"

Something went quiet in Frostholm. The mining outpost stopped sending word weeks ago. Company says it’s the weather. Locals won’t go check. A mother’s paying good money to anyone willing to find her son — a scholar who went up chasing some old civilization and never came back.

This thirty page adventure presents a small village investigation and a dev le in to a mine with about eight rooms, plus a couple of overland events before and after. It’s more of a scene based “Experience” than an adventure, with the designer describing it as no-win. The writing is purple and there is no loot to be gained. 

This has elements of War Against the Chtorr, in that an alien organisms is trying to chtorraform the planet. You head up to a snowy mining camp that no one has heard from and have a few spooky things happen along the way. At the camp you poke around the buildings and find bodies and more eerie stuff. You survive (presumably) a night attack by a swarm of alien insects and head to the mine the next day. There you might get infected with spores in the weird crystal/plant environment and find a dude in an alien pod. If you free him then an unbeatable monster appears. Fleeing from it you fight hordes of crystal block constructs. You’re supposed to figure out to seal the mine shaft with some explosives you find. On the way back down the mountain, with the dude you found, a different unbeatable monster appears, klils the dude, and takes off for the stars. The dude you found has a book and if you perform the ritual in it then a portal opens in which armies of alien life forms come through to finish chtorraforming the planet. 

The vibe here is similar to those killer LotFP adventures. You know, you delve in and try to get loot while avoiding the doomsday scenario that is sure to happen. Maybe mix in a little Call oc Cthulhu where messing with books will fuck you up. Except, there’s not really any loot here. I find this annoying and it makes me want to put this solidly in to the Modern Adventure category where you’re just fucking around together at a table instead of gaming. Yeah yeah, there are different ways to have fun, but I prefer the one where the story is the one the party makes. But, with that in mind …

This is also a generic/universal adventure. Which means a lack of stats. You get some general “there should be twice as many creatures as party members” and other story based mechanics like “the attacks last until dawn” kind of stuff with a few “they should take one hit to kill” sorts of things thrown in. This, again, contributes to the more story based approach that the adventure is taking. 

It DOES do a fairly decent job with the investigation and lead in to the mine. You get a few eerie things happening on the trail to the mining town, dogs nervous, a body frozen in the snow and so on. And the town investigation is also likewise eerie. Strange scratch marks covering all of the buildings, skeletons huddled in corners stripped of their flesh or other clearly holed up and waited to die. The whole “meal still on the table” sort of thing. At one point you can’t get in to tone of the village buildings and have to go in a window to find the door blockaded. Nice.The whole preamble to the ride os decently done, in what is presented if not in its form.

Any by form, I mention that because of the writing style. It’s very much heavy with first this thing happens and then this thing happens and keep the party from doing X and so on. This is then exacerbated by a certain conversational style of writing, HEAVY with purple text. “The walls have stopped pretending to be stone. What covers them now is something else, layered thick like scar tissue over a wound that never closed — glistening, faintly pink where the light catches it, soft enough that you do not want to touch it and cannot stop noticing that you have to.” Or something like “Something is coming, but not in a hurry, It doesnt need to.” That least bit being a read-aloud line. 

While this MIGHT work in in the village/investigation portion, it breaks down in the mine where it tends to continue. The mine is mostly just poking around on a museum trip, looking at the weird plant life that might infect you with something only very high level magic can cure. There are a couple of light problem solving situations, like getting down the central shaft, but you’re not doing much until you find the dude in the alien pod thingy.

At this point all of the stillness disappears. The unbeatable monster appears as well as the hordes of lesser crystal golems. You’re supposed to run away. That’s the point of the entire adventure. Run away, beat off the crystal golems while ascending the shaft and, hopefully, sealing it lest the horrors are loosed upon the world. 

This is all, essentially, a railroad. It’s an experience. Follow the tracks laid down and survive and “win” by escaping with a sealed shaft,. If you don’t guess what the designer wants you you to do then die 

The conversational writing style makes running it difficult, and the purple prose if so bad that I’m not sure I could read it with a straight face. Even when it’s not read-aloud the DM will need to wade through it and try to translate it to something evocative for the party, which is not going to be easy.

The generic/Universal curse strikes again. Just write it traditionally and stat it for B/X and STILL call it generic/universal. Once you get good, as a writer, THEN you can branch out to more experimental styles. But you gotta learn to walk first.

This is $4 at DriveThru.The preview is the first three pages, which are all, essentially, designer notes. A few encounters needed to be included so a potential buyer can get a sense of what they are buying before they do so.

https://www.drivethrurpg.com/en/product/578991/they-come-at-night?1892600

By Oliver Müller, Prizren Buçpapaj
Voltaria Games
OSE
Level 1

A village is silent. None dares to speak out loud anymore, for fear of invoking the curse of the bell. A nun was burned 300 years ago, because she was accused of having consorted with a demon who stole the voices of his victims. The same demon who is bound to the bell of the ancient belltower in the center of the village. Will your party of adventurers brave the depths of the old catacombs to lift the curse and right the wrongs from the past, or will they accidentally unleash an even greater evil?

This twelve page adventure presents eleven rooms on two levels of a small dungeon under a ruined monastery. It’s a little dull and lacks flavour but is far from the worst things ever written. 

Man, my compliments are really getting out of hand, aren’t they? But, seriously, something seems to have happened with adventures. Some of them don’t make me want to gouge my eyes out. Now, I’m not saying they are good, or even regertful, but, they don’t just absolutely suck ass. I don’t know how many times in, what, fifteen years, that I’ve seen stuff that is just Meh, but I’ve been seeing it a lot lately. Yeah! The world is getting better! “You won’t hate everything about your life if you purchase this adventure!” That’s right, I’m available for writing ad copy! If this trend continues I may be out of a non-job. Because as much as I love a good adventure the blog only exists because I REALLY hate bad ones. “Not writing crap” seems like such a simple idea, at least in theory.

You show in a village. The people won’t talk to you. They will grunt at you. They will make arm gestures. Some will write notes. (Booo literacy!) But they won’t talk. Every time someone tells a lie then the bell in the old ruined monastery rings, louder and louder. Popping on over you can go up the bell tower, which contains only the bell, or you can go down in to the dungeon and it’s small handful of rooms. Down there you will fight a few 1hp undead, a few skeletons, and meet the ghost of a chick burned alive who cursed the monks. The bell contains the essence of a demon, which is why the monastery exists. The chick was a part of the monastery, the monks lied and got her burned. The curse infected the bell. Destroy the bell and the demon gets out. Kill the ghost of the chick and the bell cracks and the demon gets out. You’re supposed to find the one-charge hammer of banishment and use it on the ghost, putting her to rest while the bell remains intact and freeing it of the “lie and the bell rings” curse. 

The hooks are the usual low-effort stuff of get hired, with one having the party just arriving at the village and stumbling in to things. One of the best parts of the adventures is a throw away line in that hook that has an old woman attacking the party with a broom if they speak. That’s the kind of specificity that makes an adventure shine. It’s short and fits in perfectly with a bunch of scared villagers. Another line has advice to the DM in making the bell ring every time someone in the party tells a lie. A nice touch. Finally, n the dungeon are a number of cubbies with bones in them, catacombs like. In one cubby the skeletons still have jewelry on them! Time to get a lootin! Except it’s a cube, the remains of other adventurers in it. Very nice integration of a classic monster in to an adventure in such a way that makes it a surprise. All of those “empty” bone reliquaries pay off in a nice monster attack. That’s how you lure a party in to a classic monster.

The descriptions here are not terrible, although they are not really evocative either. The Sacrist reads “8. SACRISTY Wardrobe: There is a rotting wardrobe containing 1d4 robes for mess. They are damp and filled with holes, but they will prevent the skeletons from attacking.  Box: Used to store religious tools for the mess, which have been hidden in the secret treasure room when the monastery was abandoned.” This has some line breaks in it, I’m condensing it here. It’s easy enough to follow and, while the length is not great it’s also not a burden. It comes across as rather mundane, and doesn’t really do a great job of painting an evocative picture of the room, being more fact based than impressions. Note that there is no room summary, and in some places this gets awkward, such as in one room with zombies that only show up at the last sections. These sorts of things, the most obvious thing or something likely to be of import immediately, should really ne higher up in a description. “Oh, yeah, there are also some zombies here” is not the way to run a D&D game. This means takingin the entire room description before relying it to the party rather than a descriptive style that builds with first impressions and follow on detail. Thus the text length does come  to play when as being of note.

It doesn’t feel like a spooky monastery with shit going on, although thats what it is. The titular bell tower, while having the mostimportant thing in the adventure, the bell, is almost an afterthought, with the focus being the dungeon under the tower. The bell tolling helps, but it needed more build up or, interestingly, less, almost as an aafterthought. Either would have worked better, I think.

This is an EASL adventure, with some AI to help with the translation, the adventure discloses. This is probably fine. I suspect some of the mundanity in the descriptions comes from its EASL nature, but that’s to be expected.  “Grave chamber: It is an undecorated tomb with a single simple grave in the middle.” is a good example. Like, a dug grave, in a catacomb? I suspect we mean a stone sarcophagus? But, also, not exactly the height of evocative writing. There’s not a whole lot wrong here, it just doesn’t stand out as something I’d like to run. Also, put the level range is IN the adventure. Put it on the cover or in the marketing blurb.

This is $3 at DriveThru. The preview is the first three pages. Another page of encounters would have been nice, to get a true sense of the adventure keys.

https://www.drivethrurpg.com/en/product/581426/lies-at-the-bell-tower?1892600

Vestiges?
Self Publised
OSR? 5e.
Level 2

Every night, someone climbs down into a burial mound sealed for sixty years and declared “inactive.” He’s counting something on a wall, in chalk. No one knows who, or why — and the answer reaches far beyond one lone surveyor.

This 21 page adventure uses four pages to describe six scenes, one having five rooms. Is it AI slop? It is pretentious? You now longer have to choose, now it can be both! It’s also barely comprehensible. 

This was a request, but the designer, as it turns out. I’m always a little bemused when someone wants ME to review something they wrote. Any publicity is good publicity? I mean, there are more than a handful of reviewers that will just give you five stars, why not go there? 

And then there’s the statement in the request that the line drawings are AI. Sure, ok. I don’t actually care about AI. I feel about it the way I feel about Mork Borg: there’s nothing inherently wrong with it, it just turns out it’s enabling a lot of garbage. Because, you see, while the designer disclosed the use of AI art to me, the adventure has this disclaimer at he bottom of the title page: “The illustrations in this work were created using generative AI tools, under art direction. Part of the content was developed with the help of AI, which was also used for proofreading and for translation. The whole — setting, rules, text — was conceived, directed, reviewed and approved by its author.” So, you used AI to write it and then write a deceptive missive to me in order to get me to review it because, I suspect, you knew that the use of AI in writing would be a no go. Except I don/t care about the use of AI. I care about the end result, and the fact that you engaged in a deceptive practice. I know, damned if you do and damned if you don’t, right? I note that the last sentence in that disclaimer basically just says “I used AI” using different words and notably does NOT say that someone write this. Just that they directed the writing of it. Having saif all that, I don’t understand WHY someone would use AI in a creative work. Isn’t that the point, the process of creation? Isn’t that a major joy in life? If it’s not then why the fuck are you engaging in it? Like most modern shams, this is hollow. Nice art. Nice page layouts and backgrounds. The APPEARANCE of quality. And it’s all to the end of hiding the word-guesser slop underneath. 

The text here just positively drips with AI mannerisms. Which is a euphemism for overwritten purple prose. It anyone wants to be a failed fantasy author, it’s the AI agents. “A Cabinet station: plain, functional, without a single ornament. It is not a tomb, it is an instrument, and it still works. At this depth nothing explains itself at first glance” Uh huh. Purple slop. “But he can read a depth, feel a draught and tell when a corridor is lying, which is worth more than a map.” Uh huh.Purple slop. “The threshold says it to anyone who looks: a sword bent double, a crushed helm, scattered iron filings — everything that carried iron and came too close” Purple slop. 

It doesn’t help that this is some walking simulator. “It is also a way into Vestiges, a game of archaeological fantasy in which you do not loot dungeons: you survey what dead worlds left behind, and you decide what to do with what you have understood.” I decide to sell it for money and power. “A Guild of scholars, the League of Nyméria, funds the expeditions, buys up the finds, and decides what the world is allowed to know.” Wrong! My sword decides that. “The scenario is not won by killing Orin. It is played by deciding what to do with a man who counts in spite of himself, and to whom the count is handed.” But, it’s a lot easier, I’d say, if I just stab him? So, pretentious setting. Oh, oh, also, you get the famous “ask the party a deep question” bullshit. In this case “Why do you go underground, when sensible people stay up top?” I do it as escapism for a shitty middle class wage slave life in order to have fun and as a pretext to spend time with friends. Why the fuck did you shortcut one of the few meaningful things in life, the act of creation, and instead resort to AI slop?

With pretentious interactivity. I’m not sure you actually DO anything in this. There is certainly no conflict. There are a few die rolls, which you can’t really roll to continue with. I guess, once you walk to the end you get to decide who to seel the COUNTER out to, if anyone? It’s not meaningful though. There’s not real consequence for anything. 

Bolding is used seemingly at random. The entire text is nigh incomprehensible because of the AI. I THINK I could give a somewhat accurate overview, although none of the motivations make sense. At some point in one of the railroad scenes it says something like “The real thread is pulled at a College cartographer’s, who sells copies of old surveys.” So, this is out of nowhere, I think, after you pursue the clue given to you at the start, which is a dead end/fake. How you end up at the Cartographers COllege, which has not been mentioned previously, is beyond me. At the end, during your one choice, you get this text “The return is the real fight, and it is fought without weapons. Three parties learn, within a few days, that the group went down — and each of them wants the count. Bring them in in that order” Bring them in WHAT order? The people mentioned, the table the table that follows, there is little in the way of consistency that would let you figure out what is going on here. 

This is just a mess. An AI mess. A pretentious AI mess. Even if you are in to walking simulator D&D this is a shitty version of it.

This is Name Your Own Price at Itch.

https://sylkaen.itch.io/rpg-sylkaen-en-the-hand-that-counts-en

By Close Reader
Oriental Mandarin Legend
OSE
Levels 1-2

In order to thank the PC for killing the monsters in his territory, the Boold[sic] Baron invited the players to come to the bright Red castle he built on the Wild Eagle Mountain.

This 28 page adventure presents seven-ish rooms in a scripted human sacrifice ceremony dungeon/scene/event. It has both EASL issues and is overly scripted. 

Disclaimer: I think this is a difficult review to write. I suspect strongly, based on the chinese characters in the text, that this is an EASL adventure and, further, an asian one. I love seeing non-tolkein fantasy and I don’t want to do anything to discourage EASL adventures, particularly from our chinese friends. But, also, there are EASL issues. The imagery in the writing doesn’t hit at all which is a problem given the subject matter and there are some areas, in the overview in particular, in which the language could be clearer on what is supposed to be going on, plot-wise. I’m not going to mention these things again in the review and encourage the designer to continue writing florid text, and, certainly, to continue writing adventures. 

You’re invited to the barons castle. Except, he didn’t actually invite you. It turns out that a priest, a spy in the castle, issued you the invitation. But, a carriage from the baron shows up to pick you up and you’re let in anyway. There’s a big banquet going down, but, right at the start this priest/spy dude tells you to go to your rooms and pack, and the baron reluctantly agrees. Also, the baron has drugged all of the food and wine and he and his cultists, also present as guests,will be capturing everyone to drag them below to sacrifice to their god. Also, the priest/spy invited you because he wanted a back up plan in case HE failed to stop the cult/sacrifices. Also, something else is going on with the ceremony because if you stop it then the cthulhu monster the worship will be freed and if you DONT stop it then his bonds are strengthened … so both the Blood baron cult leader AND the priest/spy are wrong about what will happen. Got it? Barely? Ok we’re on the same page.

The set up here makes little sense, from the invitation, to the baron excusing the party to their rooms. I’m not saying every setup has to be perfect, but there’s got to be some reasonableness to it for the party to buy in and for the DM to be able to expand upon things and run the situation. 

The hook, the carriage ride, arriving at the castle, the dinner, up to the party going to their rooms is all handled in a “first this and then this” kind of situation. It’s ALL hook. The presentation is not ideal and the “adventure” won’t really begin in a meaningful way until the party is in their room packing. At that point you can go explore the other bedroom on the second floor (and awfully small castle …) or go back to the main room to see the “end” of the feast and people getting hauled away, as well at the priest/spy getting gacked. Oh, and no leaving early, there’s some handwaving about there being “towers” with crossbowmen on them ready to shoot anyone who leaves. And it really is handwaving. This is not presented in any way as a tactical problem or in anyway a raid/sneak kind of thing, There are some minor notes, a sentence or two, to handle “the party eats the food” or “the party doesn’t go back to their rooms.”

The five room dungeon under the banquet hall (no maps of the upper floors/castle are provided) are the only traditional adventuring environment. Basically you fight giant worm things, a kind of body horror environment is attempted to be described, which doesn’t come across very well. I’ve generally pretty forgiving of EASL issues, but in this case the descriptions are critical to bringing about the full vibe of body horror and it’s just not present in a meaningful way. Since this is just a hack, hacking worms and finally the cultsists in their ceremony chamber, this is unfortunate.

I might call the first part just similar to an outline of an adventure and the five room dungeon portion a hack. I’m sure te language issues can be overcome with some more work, but the overall structure and flow of the adventure, getting the party in to it, the under-reliance of the tactical/free will element to the party and lack of exploration elements are just fundamental design issues. I’m excited to see more coming from asia though. And the attempts at formatting here, while not perfect, do show some understanding of layout and orienting the text to the DM who is running it.

This is Pay What You Want at DriveThru with a suggested price of $3. The preview is three pages. In chinese. Which is great for our chinese audience, I guess? 

https://www.drivethrurpg.com/en/product/455035/blood-castle?1892600

By Demi ElGato
Possum Print Games
OSE
Levels 3-6

Verzogen Vald is a twisted forest surrounded by impassable, jagged peaks. Folk that go in almost never come back out. One man has, but in his two weeks in those woods, he looks to have aged decades. His memory is not completely reliable, and his fellow lumberjacks think him insane. Though, they are disconcerted by his unnaturally fast aging, and his stories of what lurks in those woods. Every two hours, the great Green Dragon, Viridis, flies over the Vald, her domain. This is enough to keep all but the most foolish wanderers away. One of the most foolish, the heir apparent to the throne, 12 year old Prince Lukas, delved into those woods one week ago, alone. The King has posted a standing reward of 5,000gp for any brave enough to retrieve him. So far, none have been that brave…or that desperate.

This twelve page adventure uses five pages to describe ten point crawl locations in a fanciful forest. It seems a little pointless, the combination of fetch quests with a dragon at the end. But, if you’re ok with that, then fight on, it’s not bad except for the lack of adventure.

“Too Much stabbin!” or “Not enough stabbin!” Stabbing is a means to end, the ultimate way to get the treasure and remove obstacles when all else fails, or you just feel like today. A typical adventure needs a good balance. Situations and all types of conflict vs the expediency of a good stabbin. You can stab all adventure, with a good sneak in and magical plot to get in deeper and tactical assault/lair raid. You can do no stabbin with some situations good enough with nuance to for the party to work their way around … and stab their way out of. But, generally, you gotta think the whole thing through, as a designer, and work out a way for things to include the potential for stabbin and not stabbin.

This adventure don’t do that, mostly. You see from the intro that the kings kid is missing. In to the forest you go, to look for him and get the reward, while avoiding the dragon that flies overhead every two hours. Unlike Gon FIshin’, there is no stream of do gooders out for a reward; it’s just you in the forest. Not the best set up, but, we’ll forget that for the sake of expediency, while wishin for some Fishin. 

Most of the adventure has you visiting points in the forest with someone who wants something and has something. The vampire (yes, vampire) has wine and wants a goat. The goatherd has a goat but wants a lot of gold and/or some nearby bears killed. The kobolds want to be vassals of the dragon again and.or some silks. They all wants something and have something. Mixed in an occasional combat like an undead dude or two and some plants, that’s about it. So, you gonna run around and give the blue key to Bob who will give you a Red key to give to Sally and so on. It’s all a little too set. Combine that with the lack of specific numbers of kobolds, etc in the adventure and its clear you’re supposed to talk to people and do some horse tradin. No stabin. Except when explicitly told you can stab, like the rando undead or plants.

Reaching the last point, the dragons lair, this all comes to a head. The dragon wants followers. Like the kobolds. The dragon has a lot of gold. And the kings son, the prince. Critically, if you get the dragon what it wants it will let you leave, but not the prince. There IS no solution here, ultimately, for the dragon and prince, except stabbin. Everything else you do accomplished nothing. Oh, sure, if the elves teach the cavemen to sing then tey will teach you to read some glyphs which will help the wizard trying to decrypt some glyphs which will cause him to toss you a gem of seeing. But that didn’t help kill the dragon. It is an adventure in two parts. Wander around the woods performing fetch quests and then stab a dragon. The two are essentially unrelated. This irks me. The kabuki.

There’s another mechanism at play here that mixes in. Every two hours the party will age ninety days. It takes, essentially, one hour to cross a tiles borders. This means that if you go straight to the dragon and stab it then you age six months, based on the initial map. But that’s not going to happen, right? The party is going to fuck around with the side quests. And then, also, the map shifts every two hours, like a maze. So you’re gonna have to figure that out, perhaps with some clues from the adventure. Figuratively, and perhaps literally, a waster of time. There is a clue, up front, that the forest ages you, but the maze situation, as well as the social commentary on the ultimate futility of the struggles of life, well, that one you entirely.

The maze, fetch quests, dragon, and aging don’t mesh well together, I don’t think. Other than the assisination, though, the play is fine. A barbed wire fence, that you can catch tetanus from! I love scary real world shit tossed in a game. Dragonpos can go fuck itself but TETNUS resonates, yeah? And, frankly, a lot of the fetch quest shit is not bad. Maybe a little simplistic and lacking, ahum, alternate solutions, but it IS there, if a little overt for my tastes. Telegraphed, I guess. The fanciful nature of them is a little off, in my opinion. A vampire that wears a sun hat out. A kobold that speaks seven languages in a kobold village that sounds more like a halfling village. A wizard who teleports in and out of the forrest every hour, but can’t do a comprehend languages. It’s just straining thinsg a bit too much. I hate to bring up comparison adventures, but THAT OTHER ONE had a somewhat fanciful nature as well. But it was clear there was some farce. And it was grounded. People were idiots. The fanciful stuff seemed to mesh well in tha the elements it used did no seem random. 

I don’t know. I guess this one is ok. I mean, I hate a lot about it, but, at least you can comprehend what is going on and follow along and there IS something to do. Hmmm, I guess I mean there are situations here, even if I do think they are simplistic, and that helps a lot.

Sucker! Ain’t no stats for the dragon! Ha! Got ya!

This is Pay What You Want at DriveThru with a suggested price of $3.33. There’s no fucking preview. Put in a fucking preview that shows us some of the content before we have to spend money on the thing!

https://www.drivethrurpg.com/en/product/581381/the-matriarch-of-verzogen-vald?1892600

Lixu
Lixuni Gaming
OSE
Levels 1-6 (ha!)

Centuries ago, a mortal Myrenean queen named Nimuanne used forbidden rites at a sacred menhir field to transcend death, splitting her essence into three fragments upon her final death: Body, Mind, and Spirit. Grave robbers broke open the funerary urn containing these fragments, plunging the region into a desperate crisis.

This 79 page adventure presents four or five dungeons with ten to twenty locations each, plus a few small towns in a small region that is having some troubles. Its abstracted text seems out of place given the page count, with a lack of anything specific going on in the adventure.

Ok, so, I got some things to say. And this adventure probably doesn’t deserve to be the one I go off on. It’s not a disaster.

But, also, this sentence appears in the adventure: “That independence became its undoing: no walls, no militia, no warning before its own monks were the first to fall when the Mind Stone took root beneath them, spreading house to house until the entire town turned in what may have been a single night.”  I have a blind spot when it comes to spotting AI. But, the triple negative is a a hallmark of AI. I’m not even going to mention the end of that sentence, just focusing on the triple negative. It stands out like a sore thumb. And it’s listed as human created with no AI. I’m no “AI is the bogeyman and everywhere!” kind of person, but this sticks out.

I think, though, what stood out the mot for me in this adventure was the page count vs the dungeon content. I’m not sure how to frame this so people will understand. The dungeons here are relatively small, ten to twenty rooms. The room descriptions are rather minimal, a sentence or two. “Cell 3. A single unlabeled potion of climbing, tucked behind a loose stone, easy to miss without a search.” Or, for a longer room “Storeroom. Broken crates, moldering sacks, the smell of old grain gone to rot. 2 Shambling Husks stir. Loot: a locked strongbox (30gp), and a scroll of protection from undead, wax seal still faintly intact.” Even that is pretty light. And there’s nothing wrong with that. But, that also means that the dungeon keys fit on a page or maybe a little more, for a ten room dungeon. And there are only, I don’t know, four or so dungeons in this? That’s only a small number of pages. But this is an eight page adventure. I have no idea, honestly, no idea, what those pages are being used for. Stat blocks at the end, tables at the end, maps, I guess. It’s just so offputting. To see a large page count and then see the size of the dungeons and the minimal room descriptions. 

Because the rest of the content, those in between pages, are not exactly stellar. The local lord is having a dream about three locations. Go check em out and defeat the evil one. I know, I know, i’m hyperbolic, but this is almost the extent of what you get to help launch the adventure. Go ahead and get the party moving based on that. Because that’s about all you’re getting. Oh, there’s a fuck ton of explaining and backstory and so on, but I think thats being confused for gaeable content. The actually hooks in, the specificity, is not there at all. This is supposed to be a sandbox like thing. Do the three in any order and then end up at the final dungeon. But its all so very loose. Maybe, I mean abstracted. “Hey, there’s a ransacked village with some pod people in it. You need the party to en up at the local monastery.” Again, hyperbolic, but not by much. But, then, also, augment that with a whole lot of backstory that isn’t really relevant to the game at the table. 

The emphasis here is on the wrong things. You can, as Stonhell demonstrated, get away with some minimal keying. But you do this by adding context and specificity around the general situation in the area. There are things going on, the place is alive, as noted in the general notes for the level/area. This allows for a rather shorter dungeon key entry. But, importantly, we cannot mistake historical background for “current situation.” Or even, the current situation for “this shit will impact game play.” If it’s not impacting game play then it’s just padding. A line or two od padding, thrown in here or there, might be fine. You can’t lose sight of the goal: supporting the game at the table. In looking at a page long NPC description, does it matter that dude grew up an orphan? Almost certainly not. 

This misses the mark with nearly everything. Yes, it does have some interconnected dungeons that are coherent enough to run. But any specificity, in town, in the hook, in the wilderness, outside the dungeon, inside the dungeon, is essentially absent. Anything that could tie things together well and help the DM create the feelings of immersion that a ten session adventure would rely upon is not present. 

Also, it’s mostly stabbin. 

There is supposed to be a whole pod person thing going on in one area that can bleed over in to others. None of that comes through well. The interconnections and theming between the sites, doesn’t come across. And, finally, the last dungeon has three separate version, only one of which will be used. This would seem to be a waste.

It’s just weird, in the way it abstracted the content and yet is STILL quite lengthy. 

This is $10 at DriveThru. The preview is fifteen pages. You’ll get some general overview, and none of the dungeons. That overview is, honesty, the most information you’re going to get about the hook and linking things together.

https://www.drivethrurpg.com/en/product/580488/the-unleashing-of-st-nimuanne?1892600

By Jeremy Farkas
Troll Lord Games
Castles & Crusades
Level ... 3?

Dare you cross the vast desert and seek out the great red mesa where the near-mythical mine is rumored to lie? Dare you plunge the darksome depths of the labyrinth and wrest fortune and glory from its yawning chasm? Dare you seek out the legendary hammer Earthrender, which bestows lordship upon any dwarf who holds it aloft? Dare you discover the fate of the great wyrm Morglax the Bold, who brought her great host of bandits and monsters up from the south to snuff out Lord Ahidl-Mor and his kin?

This eighteen page adventure uses about fourteen pages to describe a thee levels dwarf “orcs in a hole” with about 35 rooms. Stuffed with humanoids, it uses a conversational style to present a lot of things to stab. 

I’m not sure what to say here. You know all of those adventures that have a bunch of humanoids in a dungeon with some kind of backstory? This is one of those. In this case the humanoids are kobolds, goblins, orcs and bugmeans. Along with the required vermin, an abomination or two, and a young dragon at the end. And in this case the dungeon is a three level Lonely Mountain, with thew dwarves pushed out by orcs and a dragon and the old dwarf king leaving a clue where the entrance was, up to and including a secret entrance on a ledge. The required “broken dwarf elevator” is present. 

Look, I don’t have anything positive to say. I guess I’ve got some negative things to point out. But, overall, there’s just not a lot here. This was a tourney module and then they added some content to try and expand it. I’m going to ignore the expanded content, a village and preamble adventure. I don’t think they really add anything interesting and are just padded out. If you just want to, I don’t know, enter a few rooms and kill a few things then I’ve got some great news for you about this adventure. It even has a few environmental things and light puzzels to solve! You gotta find the yellow control crystal to make the elevator work again! Uh. That didn’t come across well. If you want to stab things then you can, and there a few things to break up the stabbin.

Look, I know people like to stab. It is not lost on me that Chainmail exists. Chainmail, 3e, 3.5, 4e, the whole range, devoted to stabbin.I like to stab also. I like to stab as a means to an end. B/X is my favorite edition because of the balance there between stabbin as a means to an end rather than a tactical minis simulation. Ultimately I’m looking for something with a decent exploratory vibe, some roleplaying, and other interactivity in addition to the stabbin. And it has to be something  a little more interesting than “find the gold key to open the gold lock.”  And the adventure here is not altogether great in areas other than things to stab.

I’m also more than a little irked by many aspects of the C&C house style. Is any one thing terrible? No. Does it all annoy me? Yes. Like, no level range anywhere. I guess you just rush out and dump money at the new C&C adventure rather than looking for a specific adventure for a specific level range? Man, stick a fucking level range on it somewhere.

And the read-aloud here. You know the drill, fancy fonts with long italics make things hard t read. But, further, the read-aloud is all mixed up. We’ve got the famous second person stuff, with lots of “As you draw nearer, you clearly see …” writing, which should never be used. But, then, the bold/italics shifts. While read-aloud is in bolded italics so it DM text! Or, maybe its also read-aloud? It will just suddenly have what is obviously DM only information in the same bolded/italics. Huh? What’s the point then?

And then it’s padded ALL the fuck out. The house style loves to pad, but then the adventure does also. Creature stat blocks are long with phrasing like “Their primary attributes are physical. Their special abilities are dark vision and light sensitivity. In battle they use military forks that deal 1d8 damage, or short swords that deal 1d6 damage” As I get older the sublime majesty of the ready ref sheets becomes more and more apparent. No? You don’t agree? How about a very conversational tone in the writing, which forces you to wade through mountains of padding when locating information? “If for some reason the PCs feel compelled to loot Ahidl’s grave, “ Oh come on. What’s the point there?

And then in other places the information is absurdly out of order. AFTER a room description we get this little note “When the PCs get within 10 feet of the chamber prior, they must cross a steel tripwire just 6 inches off the ground.” That should, I think we can all agree, come BEFORE the room so the DM notices it before the party gets to the room. “Knock has no effect” ah, jesus man. It’s a low level adventure. Let the wizard use his fucking knock spell. It’s one less sleep he’ll have memorized, which is the entire point of utility spells. I can bypass this ther kind of challenge if I give up nuking a room of monsters. What’s wrong with that? Sounds like the D&D circle of life to me. 

I’m looking at room 33 right now, titled Dragon Bones. There’s a paragraph of bolded italics read-aloud. Then there are five paragraphs of DM text that follow. There is nothing in those those five paragraphs related to the room, in play. The past sentence is “Searching the room will yield no secrets or great treasures.” It’s all backstory. A quarter page, or more? For one room? 

I can excuse a lot of things as I’m Not In To That Style Of Play. But I can recognize how someone else might be. But, all of that text, for nothing? Wasted effort? Aimed at readers? Distracting from the purpose of the designer AND the purpose of a DM? Nope.

This is $7 at DriveThru. The preview is about a dozen pages, which includes a sizable number of rooms as well as some preamble text. More than enough to see what you’re getting yourself in to.

https://www.drivethrurpg.com/en/product/579756/castles-crusades-ahidl-s-keep?1892600

By Noah Green
Necrotic Gnome
OSE
Levels 2-3

he shattered remains of the arch-wizard Rakius’s tower have long stood silent—until now. Gnoll fugitives seeking refuge have unwittingly unleashed the restless horrors that linger in the ruin. Can players unravel the wizard’s forgotten doom and escape his labs with arcane treasures and their souls intact?

This 24 page adventure uses about twelve pages to describe 25 rooms in s small five level ruined mage tower. You’re running around doing things for the undead as you stab some abominations. It’s trying to keep som themes running, but it feels disconnected from itself.

Meh. It’s a small ruined wizards tower. Inside you’ve got these gnolls, hiding out after they stole some gnoll artifacts. Except, all but one are now possessed by spirits that were in the tower. They now all hate each other, or have some quest inside the tower for you to go on, which could be something like “kill the other spirit Bob” or maybe “cleanse the tower of the abominations”! Because, yes, as a wizard tower there are some weird fleshy abominations. (Nice art for them!) 

I am just so Meh about this one. I can only point to a bunch of trifling things. There is a decent little outside portion, with multiple entrances inside and windows and thicket holes entrances and so on. There’s a little read-aloud section and then some decent little interactivity in places. Let’s open up the cold dome and find some brains and put them back in to skulls with bejeweled eyes! Or a toad statue in a fountain with a gemstone hidden in an eye, all in a kind of overgrown garden setting. Or, even, a room with paintings in it, one of which is a famous missing work! This should all be decent. I mean, even the shades and their entire fetch quest little bullshitty things, that should be fine also, right? Bring me the Jade Monkey! And I shall give you, I don’t know,  a necklace hidden in a fireplace nearby. 

And, some of the magic items are not bad at all. “Leonard: A life-sized, bald human male head sculpted of rubbery material. Pulling the nose or an ear causes it to scream for 1d6 rounds; all nearby suffer a –2 penalty to attack rolls.” Or a little bonsai tree with litte fruits on it that provide full size rations. Not everything here is great, there are boring old +1’s, but, it does have some objects with some creativity

But there’s just something missing to all of it. Some life? Some joy? Some completeness?

Let’s revisit that painting. It’s in a room with like twelve other paintings. It’s the only one mentioned, at like 200go, but, are the other worth something? It’s like they don’t exist. The whole possessed gnoll thing, and the stuff they stole, it just feel random. Why gnolls? Why possessed? Why do we care about the gnoll artifacts? The spirits, and their goals and wants and stuff, It just feels disconnected from itself. Maybe I mean passive? The spirits don’t seem to give a shit about anything. And not in a cool “Im from th beyond the grave” sort of way. Yeah yeah, go kill my brother. Yeah yeah, maybe rid the place of monsters. They’re boring. The entire thing is boring?

I don’t know why. A lack of active verbing? I mean, even in B2 the place didn’t FEEL boring. It felt dynamic. Dudes were up to shit. Free room and board. Toss a bag of gold through the door.  The spirits, here, are the main “person” interactivity. And they have some sort of enemies, friends, things they want done. At least theoretically. And I guess their rooms note what they could engage the party on. But there’s nothing in this beyond that. They just don’t seem particularly interested in getting what they want. As for the rest, it’s just vermin and abominations. Oh, oh, there’s a gnoll, a single gnoll left not taken over by the spirits. He’d hiding in a garden room. The one with the fish statue/fountain. It’s got some blood moths in it, think of them as stirge. They’ll attack him and if you save him then he;ll tell you that the eye of Utnapishtim is in the fish statues eye socket. It’s all in one room. There’s nothing larger or more grand, for the most part, than whats right in front of you. 

In another place you slap the brain of a dude back in a skull. That’s it. No fun interactivity that it enables. No places to unlock. There’s literally nothing else. 

So, I don’t know. Is there some room interactivity? Yes. Is there some NPC interactivity? Yes. Are the room descriptions disasters? No. Is the formatting a disaster? No. Do I care about anything in this and/or am excited to run it? No. As I noted, it feels disconnected, like the rooms exist in isolation, in spite of a few rooms, especially with the spirits, being tied loosely to to other rooms. 

It’s not bad. It doesn’t make me want to claw my own eyes out. So, you know, good job?

This is $5 at DriveThru. The preview is twelve pages, with a handful of rooms in the dungeon at he end of it. More than enough, i think, to get  a sense of the dungeon. And my malaise.

https://www.drivethrurpg.com/en/product/580706/quick-delve-4-shadows-and-flesh?1892600

By Richard Barton
XRP
OSRIC
Levels 2-4

Rumors of a lost tomb lying deep within the New Forest are starting to trickle into the ears of adventurers in Gosterwick and Newmarket. While the source – and thus the veracity – of these whispered stories remains uncertain, all of the third-hand accounts suggest that the tomb was the product of the Archontean golden age, and not a simple tomb delved by the local Thorcinga. A few rumors even imply that the tomb displays the type of exceptional craftsmanship usually associated with dwarven master masons. Could this lost tomb be the work of the great Zhorak? or of Zhorak’s legendary master, the lesser-known Grishia Basalt? If Grishia was involved, might this tomb shed light on the location of the fabled Egg of Creation? Regardless of its creator, the tomb is sure to be filled with the treasure and lore of the ancients!

This one hundred page adventure uses about six pages to detail ten rooms in the Tomb of Kallia. There is also extensive coverage of a nearby wilderness area. Extensive being the watchword with this, as eighty words are generally used where one will do. Padded with backstory, I am bewildered by Arden Vul.

Yo, notably there is no map, at all, in this.You have to download a separate map pack, The Maps of Arden Vul, which is  free download containing all of the Arden Vul maps and all related regions. 

So, my summary is off. While this is titled the Tomb of Kallia that section makes up just a small portion of it. The tomb is actually sitting in the middle of a larger slavers camp which has about twenty locations and then about ten locations for the tomb proper, plus  few more in the slavers section for a false tomb. The bulk of this is a forest with about thirty locations, many with a small handful of sublocations. Thusly the adventure here is really the various intrigues taking place in the region that will eventually lead the party to the slavers camp and/or the tomb that is a relatively minor part of the product.

And there is quite a bit going on in the region. There are a couple of groups with some larger intrigues, like the slavers, and a several smaller things going on, such as some scammy bills of lading related to a quarry and humanoid band with, ahem, elective raiding, that loosely, or strictly hint at the larger “slaver” plot, with slaver in quotes because of the various schemes going on. As a regional supplement, sandboxy, it has a decent amount going on in it. The level range here is, I think, a bit misleading when you look at things like all of the level sevens and nines in the slavers camp, which the adventure warns you about. The wilderness sites ARE dangerous as well, so this feels like a long slow adventure with lots of retreats to regain strength and recruit again, slowly making progress in clearing things and finding more sites. 

Look man, I know we’re going to get in to it on these next comments. There are readers who will love this. There are fanboys who love this. There are contrarians who have an identity based on disagreeing and ignoring meaning. My platonic ideal of an adventure includes it being easy to run. That is the purpose of an adventure. To be run at the table. Ideally with little to no prep required. “You can run it without reading it!” is hyperbolic but also the unreachable goal to shoot for. “Easy” to run. What is easy? We’re not going to agree, some of you. I recognize that we read adventures before hand, we take notes and highlight things. We have to puzzle out the connections in the adventure and make reference sheets and all of that shit. How much of that should you have to do to run it? How much of that should, in fact, be on the designer to solve before it reaches your hand? The writer, designer, editor, it has to be “easy” to run. We can disagree on the nuance here, but not on the premise. Except now I’ll walk that back, there ARE adventures that come along, rarely, that are obtuse and ABSOLUTELY worth it to puzzle out and spend a lot of time prepping. And those adventures are exceedingly rare. It is far, far more likely that an adventure will be a disaster of writing, layout etc and not be “easy” to run and not worth the effort you will put in. And that is, I think, the case with all of the Arden Vul products I’ve seen so far. The fucking thing fights you, for no reason, and ultimately I’m going to turn to some other product to run instead of this. Because the content, while decent, just isn’t worth devoting my life to in order to make it to the table. I’d have to go look at Thicket and Arden Vul proper to verify, but my recollection is that it’s been the same with all of them.

The writing here is dense, almost to wall of text territory. It’s padded out with backstory inline and descriptions of why and irrelevant descriptions. You have to fight through mountains of text and loosely formatted paragraphs in order to suss out what’s pertinent in the various locations.

One section has a palisade with watchtowers. Palisades get an inordinate degree of attention in this. “The palisade is 9’ tall and made of new wood bound together with vines, rope, and interior support timbers.”9’ tall? Sure. The rest of it, is that important?  How about a description of the watchtowers? “Four observation and firing platforms are found along the length of the wall. These small platforms are 5’ above the ground and accessible by ladders. They allow guards to watch the approaches to the compound.” Well, I guess we’ve defined what watchtowers are, yes? These, yanked out of context, don’t seem terrible, but it is just relentless in the degree of detail everything is described in. How about an NPC? NPC’s routinely get a quarter page description. “Personality: Orphaned at an early age, Happy was taken in, raised, and trained by one of the Elder Brothers of the Benevolent Brotherhood of Arcturus.” Is this relevant to the adventure? No, it’s not. Sometimes, like the palisade detail, these things can be used to add color to areas. But you can’t do it everywhere. You can’t take every single thing in the adventure fully describe it. 

I don’t know. Maybe you can. But you gotta WORK that formatting to do it. And this don’t do that. We’re relying on paragraphs here with some underlining and some light indentation in places. And then there are these long ass sections of supplemental information that just appear thrown in willy-nilly. You’ll be in a room description and suddenly it will ballon to multiple pages and there will be this cumbersome page and half table just tossed in. How you can keep a train of thought here is beyond me. It’s almost a wall of text broken by weird presentations of information.

There is something here. More so, i think, than The Thicket. But it is so hard to get at that I can’t possibly, after multiple read-throughs, think of a situation in which I’d be pleased or excited to run this. 

This is $20 at DriveThru. There’s no preview. This HAS to have a preview. You HAVE to know what you are getting in to before purchasing this.

https://www.drivethrurpg.com/en/product/577509/the-tomb-of-kallia?1892600

By E.S. Wynn
Cairn
Self Published

This 210 page supplement is a collection of one hundred two page dungeon zones. More toolkit than adventure, you stick them together, in a modular fashion, to create your own megadungeon. That’s bs, but the zones themselves are fairly interesting, if small. It channels soe decent OSR zone spirit. Putting some thought in to it would have turned out a decent adventure/megadungeon.

Is it a megadungeon or is it a toolkit? This is almost certainly a toolkit for constructing a megadungeon. It presents one hundred zones that you could stitch together in to something larger and/or drop in as sub-levels to another dungeon. You have to think of it as a kind of dungeon geomorphs project. Each section has a number of entrances/exits that you could link up to other areas, with a few being targeted at main entrances/exits to a dungeon. It’s laid out in a “facing pages” format, with the map and a little overview on one page and the keys on the other. This limits things to about twelve or so rooms per page, maximum, and zone designs that are none too complex, from a mapping standpoint. Each zone will have a few rooms related to the zone, theming wise, and generally a few more not directly related to the theme.

There is a very fine “OSR spirit” present in many of the rooms. One of rooms reads “Ominous Vault: An impenetrable door of warm stone bars access to this room. Three locks are arranged in a triangle on its face, each accessible only with a Branch Key. Inside, a cursed, deathless humanoid like those in the sarcophagi waits, bound in leather straps and desiccated, but still aware. It will wait until someone comes close enough to bite. Stat as a Vampire (Cairn Bestiary.) It may be reasoned with (or bartered with) eventually, becoming a source of information, but is currently crazed with hunger.” So, a vampire. But you’re not just walking in here, it’s triple locked. It gives the party a reason to revisit the one or at least get some knock spells agoing. Once in we’ve got a nice little description of dessicated and bound in leather straps. And then, the vampire, it does have this “you got too close thing” but also it becomes a situation. Can you bargain with the dude to get some info? Will you dump some blood at it?It’s a resource to exploit. It is a fairly involved room for being a short-ish description, with lots of interactivity possible for the party to exploit, or be exploited by. And that’s a good room. 

In other zones you’ve got some goblins running a kidnapping for ransom thing. Will you get kidnapped, or will you exploit them to get them to kidnap someone else for you? An undead zone has a lich who wants to finally get to read his big ol book collection. (I’m sure many of us can sympathize,) Are you gonna piss him off? Are you going to manage to use him to your own ends by bargaining a book? He’s testy at being interrupted. This things manages to put in an impressive number of situations in the dungeon, and not just the parties relationship with the various denizens. 

Writing is generally good, there are a decent number of evocative description, rooms that feel imagined first and statted second, the way it should feel. That vampire being desiccated and bound in leather being a decent example. It does rely on “strange” and “weird” a little too ofton; we should be striving to write a description that avoids conclusions like that and gets more visceral, to the point the PLAYERs think “huh. That’s weird.” But it’s ok in general, especially given the sheer number of rooms.

The issue here, as with nearly every geomorph type product, is that there is little in the way of a larger picture. These areas are in isolation. “He seeks revenge against whatever pushed them out of their old home in an adjoining area and will pay with a random relic,” That guy, and his situation, with his cult, would be better if he had a specific vendetta against a specific group, that was played with in both zones. The interconnections between zones, and I’m not talking mapping, just are not there. And, i think, by design. There are some possibilities, like a dude who has a bronze tablet that “someone else wants”, but then it would be better if there were, say, some cross-references with ideas for linking areas. Or, just forgo the entire geomorph thing and spend the extra effort to put this thing together into a unified whole. That shouldn’t be THAT much more effort for the designer, already familiar with its two hundred pages of dungeon. Then you’ve have a real product here.

And some areas ARE weak, or have weak aspects to them. “A Maze of rough-hewn mine tunnels carved into the living rock …” This is just a few standard rooms layouts, as one would find in any dungeon, nothing minelike or mazelike about them. 

I really like the vibe here. Strong OSR situations in the zones. Terse descriptions that still give the DM a lot to work with. But, then, I’m doing the Bryce thing. I bought a geomorphy thing and now I’m gonna complain that its a geomorphy thing. But it is! And it would be such a strong product if the designer did the work to tie the zones together and create a cohesive whole instead of explicitly noting that the DM is free to link these as they wish. Lean in to some cross-references, at least, to suggest possibilities! Oh, also, it’s Cairn, so, you have to adjust treasure appropriately and I’m not overly happy withthe magic items.

This is Pay What You Want at DriveThru with a suggested price of $10. The preview appears broken.

https://www.drivethrurpg.com/en/product/572362/the-underbranching-cairn-megadungeon?1892600

By Fabiano R de Azevedo
Self Published
OSE
Levels 1-3

A witch burns. A curse remains. The fate of an entire village rests in your hands. The peaceful village of Torfjell is about to witness the execution of a convicted witch. Whether the adventurers intervene or stand by, the outcome is the same: a terrible curse is unleashed, bringing sickness, madness, and mysterious deaths to the village. With each passing day, more lives are claimed. The only hope lies within an ancient legend: the forgotten Tome of the Light Shaman, hidden deep beneath Mount Inhaltyr in a long-lost dungeon guarded by dangers far older than the village itself. The heroes must uncover the truth behind a centuries-old myth, explore a dungeon filled with secrets and meaningful choices, and confront the creature that protects the tome. But legends are rarely as simple as they seem, and not every monster is truly evil.

This thirty page adventure uses about six pages to describe fifteen rooms in a small dungeon with a manticore. It’s got a nice little set up but the dungeon, proper, makes little sense. 

The set up to this one is interesting. As the party enters a village they comes across, live and in progress, the village major just pronouncing sentence of witchcraft on a woman tied to a stake and about to be burnt. If they do nothing then the village burns her and she does the old “pronounce a curse while burning” routine on the entire village. Which now includes the party. Oops. If they free her then she goes off and kills someone and curses the party for their troubles.  She is a witch and she DID murder a couple of innocent people. She has to kill three people to extend her life and she had already killed a mother and child, so, you know, it’s D&D and “shes a witch who did bad things” can, actually be true. Noice play on the trope. Anyway, one person a day dies from the curse. Ouchies. Turns out though you can go get a book in a dungeon nearby which will take care of the curse; this shit happened before long ago and the village elders know about the book. So off you go the dungeon.I love the play on the trope and the party getting whats coming to them for meddling in local affairs. Sure, WE know there’s no way out of the hook, but the set up is still a nice one, with a decent curse. 

The dungeon is a weird one though. There’s a convoluted backstory that has mom & dad turning their son in to a manticore and the dungeon gets built and the holy book with the curse cure is placed in it. Both mom and dad have “rooms” where a stone golem resides that the party can animate, one to attack the manticore and one to defend th party while fighting the manticore. Got it? Dungeon, purpose built, manticore in it, a couple of golems to help the party out. 

But then the place is designed, weird? This is more than a random other monster appearing. In one room there’s a sconce on the wall and if pull it then it casts animate dead on the skeletons in the room. Huh? Why do you do this? Why build a dungeon to HELP defeat the manticore and breaks the sons curse/put him to rest and then include a hidden sconce pull that animates dead? I’m not a fan of the “the tripwire cats a spell that then … “ stuff, it’s trying to explain WHY and you don’t need to do that, but, more than that, why put this kind of … trap? in the dungeon. And why does it have this hidden trigger mechanism? There’s more things like this in the dungeon that just don’t make sense, from a dungeon design standpoint. There’s no hint of something gone wrong over the years, or anything like that. 

This is more than natural aging of a dungeon. There’s a decent “bandits attack while you cross a rickety bridge” on the way to the dungeon, always a classic, although there are no hints of bandits even though the bridge is close to the village. There’s a room with a collapsed floor and monster at the bottom, also a classic and I love the classics. Those fit in. But the out of left field stuff is just jarring. Offputting. Looks, it’s a dungeon, not everything has to make sense, but this stuff just doesn’t match up with the rest of the vibe of the dungeon. Why is there a skeleton throne room? And why is the skeleton wearing a golden crown? If this were some kind of rando dungeon, ok, but its supposed to have been purpose built. Remember mom and dad?

Formatting here is all bullets. Bullets can help bring clarity. The EXCLUSIVE use of bullets, though, is seldom a good thing. If everything is important then nothing is. 

It’s an ok adventure. The premise is nice. There are some ok elements to manage, like the collapsed room/pit and bandits on the bridge. The formatting isn’t great and dungeon doesn’t make sense, as a whole, which I think is a problem for parties trying to do a thoughtful exploration. Treasure is quite light. Descriptions are bland. Meh.

This is $5 at DriveThru. The preview is three dungeon pages, so, good preview. 

https://www.drivethrurpg.com/en/product/578862/a-cursed-fate-for-torfjell?1892600

By Dylan Hyatt
Rampaging Snail
Shadowdark
Level 1

It’s Sunday and I try to watch a detective mystery on Sundays. SO you’re getting a detective adventure review.

In ‘The Swan Hollow Intrigue’, the adventuring party must solve the mystery of the murder of a monk from the Silverhelm Monasteey. The village’s two inns are close to open confrontation, and what has the haunted ruin of Tamwoth Manor to do with mystery?

This 52 page adventure presents a small murder mystery in a halfling village. It understands what a traditional D&D mystery is, its various parts and aspects, and it gets there in spite of leaning heavily on mechanics and exposition.  Lot of classic village/inn tropes are present to lean on.

Hey, charming cover! I don’t do bonus points, but if I did I’d give you one for it.

So, Brother Lothario, up at the monastery, comes in to town A LOT to flirt with the innkeepers daughter. One night he comes in to the village to flirt with her and then ends up dead in an alley. Lothario’s brother runs the other inn in town, and is calling for justice! He wants the barkeep/dad hung! He obviously did it! Mayor McCheese wants you to gather evidence. Turns out the barkeep/dad run out after Loathrio when chasing him out on the night in question. And had a big cudgel in his hand when he did it. And someone say him in the area and throwing the cudgel over a wall to get rid of it. Oh, and Lotharios brother seems to have hated him. And Lotharios throat was cut. And he stinks of fish. And he gave waitress Cocktease a note about an abandoned ruin nearby. And … you get the picture. In reality this is a Name of the Rose situation. Lothario stumbled upon the secret bookshelves, learned something about the abbey, and the abbot has the librarian hire a lowlife fisherman to kill Lothario. Also, the secret is that the last group of human monks in the monastery made a deal with the devil, literally, to stave of the plague from themselves and now the old abbot from 300 years ago is a ghoul in the basement. So, you know, pretty please? 

There are some classic elements at play here in the events going on. There’s a drinking contest in a bar, and a bar fight, and someone wants a drink paid for to talk, and there’s a chase scene and there’s a village mob. All of the things one would expect to see in a village inn. And this extends a bit in to the adventure as well, a minor haunting can be resolved by placing a child’s ragdoll on her childhood bed. You know ol Bryce is a big softie, so I’m down for all of these classic elements. The overall mystery investigation is not a bad one. A couple of things to discover and leads to follow up on. It’s not really complex in ANY way. It is supported by a coupe of events, like a village mob and a chase of a suspect through the village. Both of these are good in concept to add, just handled rather poorly in execution.

Alas, the implementation of all of this is not great. If it WERE great then it would simply be Yet Another Mystery adventure.

There’s A LOT of text here for such a simple adventure. There is a long background, most of which is unneeded. There are long stretches of read-aloud, in italics. Read-aloud should never be long and italics should never be long. Long read-aloud causes players to loose focus and pull out their phones. They don’t pay attention. Long italics is hard to read, cognitively. Together they are a nightmare for both the DM and players. 

There are long bouts of exposition in here, everywhere. A lot of explaining and detail that just s not relevant to what’s going on. Well, I mean, it is, but only in a tangential way. You want to include things that are directly related to the adventure, to play at the table. More is not better. That shit, that trivia, it gets in the way of the DM finding the information they need to run the adventure. Further, instead of including that shit and spending time on it you COULD be making the core of the adventure, the actual things relevant to play at the table, better. The same goes for mechanics. We’ve got mechanics for a bar fight, mechanics for drinking contests, mechanics for a chase scene, mechanics for … and, yes, this is to be expected to some extent. But there is an appropriate level of detail to mechanics. You don’t want to drone on and on and on and be prescriptive about them. You’re not in charge of the game. You don’t know the specifics of the table. You want to give the DM some guidelines and let them run the thing. 

There is, I think, often great confusion about details vs specifics. In this context detail is bad. It is trivia. It explains why’s or how’s that we don’t need to know, or almost certainly don’t need to know. Specificity, though, are those things that inspire us to greatness in running the game. It is terse, meaning it doesn’t get in the way of scanning an adventure and it doesn’t require a long pause to read while in the midst of running a game. It is the sort of thing that once you read it it stays with you. You grok it immediately. If a picture is worth a thousand words then one well written specific sentence is worth more than a page of details. It communicates exactly the vibe the DM should be going for. 

In this adventure there is a wandering traveller table for one of the inns. One of the entries is for a Quack selling (dubious) portion of healing. That’s the entry on the table. That (dubious) in parens tells us a lot. There’s a decent sized paragraph expanding upon this one liner, which adds little of value except perhaps “Vagdoran” is his name and he’s got a wooden case with six vials in it and that by the time the party discovers the scam he’ll be far away. Not nearly enough snake oil in D&D games, ya know? Anyway, we’ve got something specific here. Still far too long for what it is, but this in the same neighborhood. Compared with “generic pilgrims” or “generic travelling merchants” it’s the spice of life.This is why something like those quick adjectives/adverbs used to describe NPCs hit so well. And it’s why putting in a long section of italics read-aloud for each NPC that is supposed to communicate their personality fails. I need to know Kylo Rens personality in half a second, not struggle through a bunch of second person dialog in italics. I get that they both get us to the same place, but one is much more effective during gameplay.

Mechanically the thing falls down a bit also. In one place we need to make a DC check to tell the innkeeps wife is not being exactly honest with us. However, with regards to the innkeep proper, there is no such opportunity to detect his honesty/dishonesty. I’m not arguing for either case to be correct, but noting that the inconsistency here is the issue. Are we rolling for this shit or not? And this is not an isolated example. There might be another example with the ghost of a child, that I mentioned earlier. We’ve got some specific (convoluted) say a prayer/perform a rite shit that is detailed, and noted about replacing a specific doll on her bed. Rather than the specifics of a rite that the party has absolutely no fucking chance of figuring out, all that mechanical detail can be removed with just some advice to let a party that seems to be doing the right thing/making an effort succeed. (Hmmm, does a Bless need to be sincere, or can you just Constantine the thing?)

The dungeon, proper, is quite small. Just a few rooms with a few undead, and, in fact, may not actually be a part of the adventure. Do you go underneath and kill the old abbot/ghoul? Well, maybe. If things play out the right way I guess so. So, right to handle it as a kind of an aside but the detail, again, gets in the way of anything memorable happening. 

This is $5 at DriveThru. The preview is the first six pages so you get to see miles of backstory. The preview should show us some of the actual adventure text so we, as potential buyers and DMs, can judge if the writing is something we can hack or not.

https://www.drivethrurpg.com/en/product/574699/the-swan-hollow-intrigue?1892600

By Ian Hickey
Gravity Realms
2e
Levels 1-2

Do you dare venture into the Stronghold of the Mad Dwarf? Its dark corridors and forgotten halls hold horrors beyond your mind’s comprehension. For centuries the Tome of Many Verses has been locked away, along with the horrors it has created.

This 44 page adventure uses 22 pages to describe four small dungeon levels and one larger one, the larger one having about 23 rooms. It is padded out and tries to theme areas, to no great advantage, but has several classic elements to it that help it rise above the typical dreck. Its heart is in the right place, even though it doesn’t succeed very well.

This one falls in to the “classic dungeon” category. There’s a small outside area, a small antechamber level, a larger “main” dungeon of 23 rooms, a couple of very small levels under that, and then a map in the classic megadungeon side-view noting other are levels yet to be detailed/left for the DM. The main theme here is an old dwarf complex, dug too far, and the main treasure being a book of demon summoning guarded by a kind of gibbering mouther made of dwarf parts. The vibe here is classic dungeon, with spiders, mad dwarves, and a few oddball creatures in a mix of “empty” dungeon rooms and some larger spaces with more interesting things going on. It’s also “kill based” XP, as it’s 2e Not gold=xp here, with coinage limited as a result. We’re going to ignore the hooks as well since they are just the usual “you’re hired” couple of lines and this is, in the end, a site based adventure in the classic dungeon style.

There’s a small outside area right in front of the doors, which you can think of a much smaller version of the Stonehell outside. A few ruins and a couple of monsters. You’ll get to a small antechamber level of a couple of rooms, and then down in to the core dungeon of 23 rooms. Under that is a small cavern level of a few rooms and the dwarf spider pens level.

The entry in to the core dungeon is the lift shaft. The platform having failed a long time ago, you’re faced with a pit, 180 feet deep, to navigate your way down. No solution is give, nor should there one be! The adventurers are left to tie those ropes together and go in through thepit, classic style. The dungeon does this sort of classic element stuff in a few places, with another standing out being a locked door with an open window grate in it. The key is in the keyhole on the other side. That’s it, nothing else suggested. Again, the adventurers are left to their own solution, as they should be. I love these sort of classic obstacles, without spoon feeding the DM on solutions. When the adventure is doing this is channeling those classic dungeons of old; twelve in one blow!

There are, at times, some decent room descriptions as well. “The roof to the common room has collapsed and is blocking the entrance. Inside chunks of broken furniture, tables and chairs are half buried in rubble.” Another environmental obstacle! Rubble, half buried furniture, all turning an otherwise empty room in to something a little more interesting.  When the adventure is hitting on all cylinders it does a pretty decent job. That main room you descend in to from the pit has sixteen pillars and a 15 foot vaulted ceiling, with rubble under the pit from the platform and mechanism which has collapsed from above. And a floor covered in guano. Ought oh! 1-100 bats! Hope you’re not making a lot of noise! In another large cavern we’ve got the classic flowstone and mite/tite situation, along with a giant cave clam blending in surrounded by treasure it has coughed up. Does it make sense? No. But it sure recalls those classic D&D exploration of caverns illustrations.

Let us not get attached though. The padding is hard with this one. Not to an excessive degree, but it is present in nearly every passage. This room once served as. The main entryway is open for business. This used to be. These phrases do nothing for the adventure and clog up the DMs ability to scan the text to find the entries they actually need. “The locked door at which the adventurers stand is the old entrance to the stronghold before the new additions were added above.” That is a perfect example. It is irrelevant. It is trivia. It adds nothing. 

It also gets weird about the creatures in places. In one room there is a small amount of read aloud that describes one of the mad dwarves attacking. Another room has a full on room description and no description of occupants, except it then stat blocks two of the ad dwarves. Elsewhere the adventure “might” encounter a giant rat nest in this room.  The spider pens level simply notes, at the beginning, that there are 3-30 spiders on the level, with no further mention of them. This is maddening. There CAN be a place for creatures sometimes being present, or for a level having a total number of creatures on it, but this is not how you do that. Boxed text is not present everywhere, which is fine either way, but it can get long in places, causing the players to lose interest and pull out phones. 

And then there are the mad dwarves. Not undead, just maddened. And when you’re close to them you need to make a save vs spalls or be paralyzed for 1d6 rounds. Ouch. Area attack. Multiple dwarves in an encounter. OSR. Run away. But, also, i feel like Fear and Paralysis are some HEFTY shit to be throwing at a party at level one. I remember several near TPKs from level four to six parties who fear’d away or got paralyzed. Those are some BAD. ASS. EFFECTS. I’m not sure about this in a level one, but we’ll give it the benefit of the doubt.

The adventure is a little slow. Some of the rooms are memorable, and there’s a decent number of things to poke and prod at, but it feels a little drab. The descriptions could be better, more consistent, and the environment feels quite static. But, other than the padding, it’s not really doing much wrong. I just don’t think that the classic elements, when they appear, are enough to carry it. 

This is $13 at DriveThru. There is no preview. How are you gonna have your pudding if you don’t have a preview?! Put in a preview, show some rooms, let us get an idea of the content we are purchasing before we push the buy button.

https://www.drivethrurpg.com/en/product/572215/stronghold-of-the-mad-dwarf-ad-d-2e-version?1892600

By Patrick Stuart
False Machine Publishing
Tunnels & Trolls

A mysterious Inn at the end of the world, an evil sorcerer, a talking shadow on the wall, a door down into the dark. The world must be saved and only this particular group of weirdoes (who happened to be staying overnight), can do it! They have until the Doom of the Dark is fulfilled! (Roughly six hours real-time, but you should be able to get it done in two). They also have a Turne-Spytte Dogge, his utility so far unknown.

This 35 page one-shot adventure details a twelve room fucked up dark fairy-tale save the world adventure in a … weird inn basement? T&T is light, and it matches for the adventure. Great ideas and everything that filthy casual crowd wants out of their D&D clone systems and games.

Man, I always forget about Tunnels and Trolls, even though some of my favorite of the original era adventures were written for it. T&T is great for the same reason B/X is great. They are simple and don’t get in the way of actually playing the game with all that min/max rules lawyer shit. It;s got that beer & pretzels vibe that makes it great for a game with filthy casuals. Con games. A one shot at the game store. All your stoner friends coming over for game night. I don’t know if you can do more with T&T, but just like classic CoC, it’s perfect for one-shots.  And the actual content of this adventure, man, it’s like Pan’s Labyrinth mashed up with some of those “core” AI fantasy TikToks. Stuart knows how to bring a vibe.

It’s not a traditional adventure, he states up front. More of a storybook kind of thing. I might call it original old world fair tales, with arms falling down chimneys and shit. There are some cutesy LOOKING things, but everything here is ready to fuck you up in a weird way that is just so thematically appropriate to them/their setting. 

You’re staying at an inn, in the attic or in the barn nearby. You wake up in the middle of the night. “Now you awaken to the distant sound of laughter, counting, and the

clattering of coins.” There is no light. NONE. Like, bottom of a cave no light. EXCEPT you can see some coming from the inn/downstairs. Your own light sources, WHATEVER they are, don’t shed any light at all. That’s not good. The main room of the inn has a lamp anging from the rafters, shedding the light you’ve seen, the innkeeper frozen in solid bronze, a pair of green eyes in an ash tray, the skin of a man draped over a chair whimpering, and a mangy dog licking the bloody hem of the skin. ““Ignore it.” Whispers a voice. This is the Shadow-Man.” The shadow man flits from shadow to shadow in the room, cast by the light. He tells you he’s the shadow of a wizard who came to the innThe sorcerer is trying to steal the 13,000 coins that the original True Night originally was bribed with to sleep forever.  His shadow disagreed wit him so he cut it away with a silver knife. His eyes disagreed with him so he cut them out and replaced them with silver coins. His very flesh protested so it cut it away and there it hags now. Uh, yeah, so that’s why wizards rule. None of the rest of you fucks have that kind of dedication. 

I don’t even know how to describe that. Storybook? Fable? I think it hits that Mythic Underworld thing; things are certainly different. Cutting away the shadow with a silver knife. Plucking out eyes. Silver coins. How many culturally significant things can you load on to something? This is the vibe you are getting with this adventure. 

Yo, did you pick up that the shadow, skin, and eyes could be your allies, if you take them along? I mean, they must have really disliked him for him to cut off his skin, right? Anyway, you make your way in to the dungeon under the inn. All the while you can get the clatter of coins and an ominous countdown, from like 13,000. There’s a handy dandy chart that says something like “four hours of game time has elapsed, so the countdown is now about 4,600 is the players ask” and so on. Thusly, a real-time game limit. When it hits 0 the robbery is complete and, the True Night, finding the bargain broken, makes sure there is never light again. This is all handled wel, is easy to follow to add colour to the game.

The encounters here fanciful as well. We’ve got moon goblins out of some art deco nightmare, and their heads can be squeezed for juice which will shrink you. This there are a couple of ways to handle rooms, either full size of shrunk, which can last six hours or so, the length of this adventure. Adding to this are challenges easier is shrunk, or impacts that are different. The Mice Knights are running around and set against the Black Rats … who don’t necessarily need to be your enemy and could even be your ally. The environments, scenes and interactivity here is fanciful, and is of that perfect type of you being able to interact or just stab the fuck out people. 

The descriptions here get a little long. It’s not a typical formatting, it’s communicating the vibe and feeling of the place through text meant for the DM. There are bullets in the right places, along with italic and such, but this is not the typical room/key layout. It can work but its more of a read-ahead and really understand what the room is trying to do sort of thing, that tries to remain sticky in your head. Some portions could be communicated directly to the pliers while others are more an overall kind of feeling of the place. Not literally, but that’s what the text is trying to communicate. Thee are places where the text falls down as well, I’m looking at you “large rectangular stone room”, but those are minimal and don’t really detract from the situation going on in the room. 

This is a good one shot. It’s everything a casual one-shot, that we see so often for sale for minor OSR systems, are trying to do. Its got solid theming. The rooms hit, room after room and challenge after challenge. It’s not one dimensional and presents alternate paths for resolution. The non-traditional formatting (which those familiar with Stuart’s style should recognize) does mean that you’re going to have to do a little more prep work up front, but it certainly a memorable piece and reminds me of one of my favorite one-shots, In Media Res, for CoC in Unspeakable Oath.

This is $7 at DriveThru. The preview here is seven pages. It more of the intro and lead in to the adventure, and because of that it has a style that is not the same as the rooms, proper. I would not be scared off by it but would have liked to see a room as well, to get a better read on how the core content is presented.

https://www.drivethrurpg.com/en/product/578297/doom-of-the-dark?1892600

By Eric Jones
Ludibrium Games
OSR
Level 1

Tragedy has befallen the Kingdom of Ambarge—the king is dead; long live the king! Yet strife in the realm has only just begun, for the sole heir is nowhere to be found. The fate of the entire kingdom now rests with the grit and guile of a few humble caravan guards in a far-off land.

This 32 page adventure presents a ten events caravan journey It feels more generic than perhaps it should, given the subject and the NPC’s. Almost as if it’s one step away from the specificity that would bring the entire thing home.

This is a reissue of the 2011 adventure Kingmaker, “significantly expanded and revised from the original version.” It looks like I reviewed Kingmaker ages ago. I’m going to review this and then go back and read my other review. Let’s see how a new reissue compares to an old review?

After the death of the king the royal consort/mom smuggles her son, the heir, out of the kingdom to get him out of the way is assisination attempts. Mom and son are in disguise as a wealthy merchant/son and taking a caravan to Another Kingdom. They’ve got a few hired guards, none of who know who they are. Oh, hey, Mr Party, how about we hire you also? A few more never hurt. The caravan is almost immediately discovered by a witches familiar, part of a band of mercs to hunt the boy down, and then nine more scenes play out until the next town is reached. It’s the party and their merc caravan against the witch and her mercs, as she tries to get at the boy and/or whittle down the caravans guards. 

The NPC’s, the good guys and the bad guys, are all covered up front. There’s a little description and a stat block. Something like “Mundencain’s partner, Oading Whitebones, would be tall but for a terrible hunch. The road-weary but loyal soldier has accompanied Mundencain on various adventures since they were small boys dueling with wooden swords.” I’m just having a hard time getting behind them. Road-weary, loyal, hunchback. That I can do. As a quick reference its lacking.

The encounters are decently open ended, in general. The DM is given a situation, maybe half a page or so, and then  you run it. Importantly, the evil party and the NPC’s in the caravan are not really covered. Well, they are, here and there, but it’s minor issues or just leading to something else. For the most part , if the room description was something like “orc main room with cooking fire and six orcs” and nothing more, then I’ll let you, the DM, determine how the previous information about the NPCs, good and evil, fit in to that. The entries are not that short, but, the point I’m making is that they generally do not deal much with the NPC’s.

You must cross a raging river. You meet merchants. There is a cart full of bodies on the road. How the party wishes to overcome these things is up to them. How they wish to use it against the party following them. How it gets used against them by the evil party to harass the good party. The adventure is not going to give you much to work with here except some personalities and general goals, spiced up by some specific remarks here and there,

As event based adventures go it’s not the worst. There’s no real railroad here, except for maybe the first encounter where a bird flies by, discovering the party for the witch. You can kill off good caravan members, or do pretty much anything. If the kid dies, or you turn him over early or something, well, I hope you got paid well for it by the witch? Just beyond the ten static events is a little section on other events that the DM can toss in. Less events, i think, and more how to handle party actions, like, we want to talk to the baddies, or other actions to toss in to spice things up. This is all then further augmented by a terrain and weather table to add additional spice. So, a lot of tools, from good guy npcs, rto baddies, to terrain, to weather, to static encounters to tossed in encounters, all to mix in together for an adventure.

The only thing that REALLY doesn’t work for me is one of the early encounters, a gnome, polymorphed, controlling animals via a potion/fungus, attacking the party. Meh. It’s a little prescriptive and renfaire fantasy for my tastes. 

I think, though, this comes off a little bland. The evil mercs are mostly just dudes. Fire arrows. Hit and run. The personalities are not there to sell a desperate chase. Nd I’m not sure tha the personalities for the good guys are there, cemented enough, either. Yeah yeah, dour, tacitern, boisterous, the obligatory traitor. I think, though, in the years since this was first published, other adventures have come along and done the evil party chasing us thing better. 

This isn’t a bad adventure. It’s certainly easy to read and follow. I just can’t get in to it at all. There’s a little too much work on the DM, I think, and/or that lack of specificity that I enjoy. I’m not mad at this, I just don’t see a reason to run it.

This is $8 at DriveThru. There’s no preview. Boo! Boo! Stick in a preview Eric! (Also, I seem to recall loving Ironwood Gorge?)

https://www.drivethrurpg.com/en/product/555687/queen-s-gambit-osr-version?1892600

By Onslaught Six, Roz Leahy, Maeve Murray
Tidal Wave Games
OSE
Level 2?

Engage with multiple factions of orcs, beastmen, rodentia, and cults. Infiltrate the followers of a doomed machine. Fall prey to a vampiric lord. Escape from the moat monster. Fight deadly monsters of chaos. Get treasure. Get out alive.

This 44 page digest presents one level of a dungeon with seventeen lairs comprising about 120 rooms. It’s a weirdly worded and padded out hack with secret doors being your only exploration, in spite of a balrog AND demon lord both being present. 

There’s this old template complex and blah blah blah a year ago something happens and monsters move in. There are now seventeen different “zones” in this dungeon, each with about five or rooms in them. Yeah man, like I said, a year. And seventeen zones worth of monsters. So, you know, they’re motivated, I guess? 

So, the map. One level. It’s got loops? No? Maybe? The seventeen or so zones are all like little mini-maps. Imagine you took seventeen dungeon geomorph tiles, each of which had five or six rooms on it. Then, connect those geomorph tiles with, like, a hallway in to it and a hallway out of it. I think a few of them actually have a THIRD hallway leading in/out of them. Pretty cool stuff, eh! No? Not? Not. And, then, I want you to use the TINIEST fucking font on earth to label each room. Chill? Sounds like a great idea. Yeah yeah, “bryce has old eyes” Fuck you. Well, maybe. But, also, more than one thing can be true at the same time. The fucking font here is TONY for the map keys. There is absolutely no way someone looked at this and said “yup, looks great!” which means that no one looked at it. Also, the map lists “0.1, 0.2” and so on but the text lists “a.1 and a.2.”  

How about the room entries Mrs Lincoln? “This room contains a library of tomes purported to contain magical secrets. Taking the time to read the books reveals they are all hoaxes or inaccurate. Empty hooks, designed to hold shields and weaponry, line the walls of this room.” That is a typical room entry. If there’s a monster in the room then there would be a stat block also. So it’s not really read-aloud. And I’m not sure it’s really DM text either. The concept of a room? The concept of 120 rooms? How about “Rotting wood shelves endure upon the walls Hurrath “ Nice and purple, yes? Or “The Beastlord resides here, commanding his underlings to capture the Muroids and put them to work.”

This is a kind of interesting style of abstraction that pops up from time to time. It’s not the normal generic abstraction that shows up usually but more of a, oh, I don’t know, I think I’ve compared it to writers note for an episodic tv series. “Kirk is a brash officer, a ladies man born in iowa who was the only person ever to pass the blah blah blah.” So, it’s kind of painting a general picture of what’s going on. And, to a degree, that is the point of writing a room, you want to give the DM an idea of what is going on there so the DM can then take the reigns and run it. But it’s almost as if the room is forgotten, the specifics of playing a D&D adventure are forgotten. If we look at the room descriptions “The Beastlord resides here, commanding his underlings to capture the Muroids and put them to work” then you get a decent idea. Yes, that is what is going on here, in general, as in that is the kind of activities that take place here. Maybe we could summative it as “throne room” or “command center. “ That tells us the same thing. But, also, not, what the fucking is going on in the room? If he directing his legions and the the party runs in ala New Hope? Does he have a  sand table he is standing over? What the adventure has provided are some very general writers notes. As if it were then to be handed to a different writer who would then create a room, the specifics, from it. “Lou! I need two paragraphs by Tuesday about a room that some dude called the Beastlord oversees his attempts to capture the Myredions.” That’s not a room description. It’s the IDEA for a room description. Not chill.

Let’s see. We’ve got a zombie ogre in this place. He has a pot on his fireplace bubbling away. Can zombies do that? He’s smart? I guess He’s got a pet gelatinous cube.  Wait, what?! Nothing means anything anymore. My kobold has a pet Zeus on a leash. The LG Lich is fighting against the forces of Nirvana and their commander Asmodeaus. Look, man, bend things is you will but you gotta have SOME kind of logic to them. And why the fuck do we need to know that the zombie dude feeds the cube limbs and pieces of its victims. That’s backstory. Better if the cube is guarding something, some passage or some way its stuck, and there’s a crate of limbs and bodies in another room with obvious limbs hacked/torn off. Then it makes some kind of sense.

Essentially each room is just a combat. The various zone leaders DO have some goals. Like “Bob wats the eye of moloch” but the roleplaying notes and faction issues really are not present much, except maybe in an occasional note like “Mary hates everyone. Thus, each room is just the concept of a room. You go in and kill something. You pick up some genero treasure. “An unusual hat made of peculiar material.” YES. Not why the fuck is the hat unusual and what’s it made of?!!?!!!?!?!? A foppish beret made of liquid jade. There, done. See how I named the hate and why it was unusual, instead of just saying its a weird hat made of something unusual? That’s the fucking difference.

Hack hack hack. Abstracted text.

Oh, also, 2d6 wizards are summoning a balrog in this, who WILL show up, as well as some cultists summoning Moloch Archduke of Hell. Who will then go on a tear killing like every following of Tenebrous in the dungeon and then the world. So, you know, better to just kill everyone then talk to them anyway, about their goals and what their needs are.

Little to no interactivity beyond stabbing. Abstracted room and treasure descriptions. Move along move along nothing to see here.

This is $10 at DriveThru. Taint got no preview. Boo! Boo I say! Show us what the fuck we are buying, a sample of it, before I spend my assistant crack whore trainee monies on it.

https://www.drivethrurpg.com/en/product/562586/monster-condo?1892600

By Nickolas Zachary Brown
Five Cataclysms
Five Cataclysms
Level 1

Souls trespassing into the rogue plane of Akiandor are captured and trapped here, doomed to be tormented by the dark denizens of this place, their souls slowly whittled down to fuel distant engines of preposterous design. This dark and terrible place is full of necromantic monsters built to instill terror, and vicious mechanical traps wrought to imbue fear in every step. Flesh will be torn. Limbs will be severed. Lives will come to a brutal end again and again, only to be cruelly revived by the light of Tirazen, locked in an eternal loop until the day their soul is so tattered from repeat sunderings that their quivering essence joins the chorus of mournful wailing in the chasm of souls.

This 72 page adventure presents a single dungeon level with about 120 rooms in a touch dungeon with lots of challenges, varied and interesting. Imaginative and creative, as is usual with Five Cataclysms, it’s also more than a little askew with a strong funhouse vibe that never turns in to farce.

This is a classic Tower of Gygax dungeon. You’re on another plane, and each time you tie in the dungeon you get brought back to life in the lobby area, perhaps with a little signal degradation, so to speak. You’ve met a black blog in the lobby who has a key to level two, but it’s only giving it to you if you bring it The MacGuffin, somewhere on level one. This is the absolute barest of pretexts for a dungeon designer to be a “starter dungeon for a group of master-level players.“

Ok, sure. And that differs from White Plume how? And thusly we come to everyone’s relationship with funhouse dungeons and/or how much pretext we need to adventure. How much verisimilitude do you need to get going?  Is that even a designers job? Isn’t it YOUR job, the players, to find a reason to adventure? Fuck if I know the meaning of life, but we’ll take my attitudes towards it as the norm for players and dms and run with it while examining adventures. 

And thusly, how much pretext do I need? How much funhouse can be in the funhouse? How much should the map be an exploratory map and how much is it allowed to be a pointcrawl map? This is not a zany dungeon. I’m not even sure it’s fair to call this a funhouse dungeon. There is not the meta or snark that, say, Tomb of Tog had. I think, maybe, it’s more classic dungeon encounters, over and over again. Maybe an analogy would be Dragon’s Lair? 

The individual encounters here are pretty damn nice. There’s a degree of real life to them. Not just verisimilitude but something both simpler and more complex than that. I’m remembering one of the rooms, let me go find it. Ok, so, it’s a tenfoot wide hallway, forty feet long, door on both sides. The door opens only slightly, revealing charred and dented crates just beyond the door. There’s a fucking heavy crate in front of the door. And/or a hallway full of them. This is nuts. I can’t tell you how many times this has happened to me in real life. Well, ok, maybe not the dented and charred part (IE: pay the fuck attention to the trap that was just telegraphed to you Excellent work there!) But the whole “a fucking spatula has gotten out of place and now I can’t open the fucking utensil fucking drawer.” It’s so simple. It’s so immensely relatable. 

And it feels like that’s what this adventure, and most stuff by Brown, does. Over and over and over again. There is this ability to create a relatable situation, as if the situation was imagined first, by someone who has never played D&D or heard about it, and then it’s put in the adventure and maybe a mechanic or two attached. Imagination without the influence of the weight of Tolkien and all of that fantasy literature and media since then that has standardized it. I would normally refer to this as “the OD&D way”, but I think it’s a little different here. “Barbed Pillar Atop a multi-tiered pillar is a scepter that radiates magical power. However, the pillar is covered in sharp iron spikes and barbs, many of these strung up with strings & chain with little brass bells suspended upon them. The pillar itself rests on a platform surrounded by the dark streams of liquid. “ This is not a full on 4e set piece, but it is a Special, I think, if we were looking at this from a dungeon population table. 

I frequently draw analogies to the Tower of Gygax for some funhouses. It is, I think, because of the ratio of specials to other rooms. When the ratio gets too high then you’re trending to funhouse. There is some kind of middle ground where we find Dungeon of the Bear and other entries like it. 

I like almost every encounter in this. They are unusual, varied, many are relatable. I am envious of Browns ability to come sup with these and hit time and time again. And it’s not just the encounters. When it comes to monsters we’ve got “A ramshackle blob of corpses stitched and bolted together, bound with chains and hooks and cords. Stands 8’ tall and roughly 6’ wide, hobbles on 3 stumps of rotten flesh. As it shambles, the clanking of its chains resonate down the halls.” Well, there you go! Great description! But,also, hey, it’s an abomination. How about something more mundane? “A humanoid skeleton whose hands have been replaced with rusted meathooks, or similar. Curiously, they smell like, really bad.” Well, yes, duh, of course! Rusted metal claw hooks for hands. That hits in the imagery department and it hits HARD! Why didn’t you think of that? I guess I’m just a 4e DM and don’t deserve love since I have no creativity at all.

Formatting is good enough, terse and easy enough to follow. Writing is quite evocative, even with a more than a few second person thrown in. Map is decent, large, lots of loops, lots of features. Blah blah blah

I am fascinated by this. Or, perhaps, the question raises. While I admire the raw creativity here and think Brown is one of the best, there is something else going on that I can’t get ahold of. I suddenly realize my own mortality: the line of pretext. Every room a special? Ok. Not much of a setup, or, one that doesn’t make sense? So what. How grounded does an adventure have to be for you to buy in to it? And, if you don’t buy in to it then is it then that arch-heretic: an activity? Damn you Nickolas Zachary Brown! Damn you all to hell! 

Meh. Encounters are great. Imagery and creativity is great. I love it them to death. I must also condemn thee to Regerts. Maybe it’s a zones issue?

This is $9 at DriveThru. The preview is eleven pages. You get to see about seven rooms at the end and all the intro. You’re going to have to make a determination from that, and you should be able to.

https://www.drivethrurpg.com/en/product/574403/enkori-s-dark-descent-vestibule?1892600

(Actually, I do know the meaning of life, so, you know,)

By Arman Bohn
Distropilis Goods
OSE
Levels 1-3

A town, overrun with rabbits and on the brink of starvation, offers its only clue to the source of its suffering: a book known  as the Tome of Tog. Locals claim the titular mage has been a nuisance for years. The pages of the book have been torn out, save for a map that leads the party on a winding, hallucinogenic path through a dense wood to the TOMB OF TOG.

This 24 page adventure presents eleven rooms in a wizards Challenge Dungeon. With Grimtoothian machinations the party faces snarky challenges with no rewards. As challenges go they are ok, but I loathe the subgenre and the suspension of pretext so much that it’s hard to say much nice about this.

 Yeah, so, arrogant wizard makes a challenge dungeon. You defeat all eight rooms, one for each school of magic. You then face the ninth school of magic. Your reward is a map to another Tog dungeon. That’s the ONLY reward. Good luck leveling. So, this is one of those “have an experience” hippy mork borg dungeon “activities” instead of a D&D adventure. If you’re in to this kind of shit, then, yeah you. I’m not. I want to play a game. A game in a campaign. And I’m using the words game and campaign very explicitly. I acknowledge, though, that a significant number of people DO engage in RPG’s as an activity. So, if you are a l000ser, is this adventure for you?

Yeah, I mean, probably. There’s no real pretext here for adventure other than “the wizard did it”, which is the lame ass meme. [And, as a rant, I would like to mention something here. “What happens when someone is gifted with a wellspring of power but is completely incompetent?” That’s not a fucking wizard. That’s one of those fuckwits who are born with power or make a pact with an entity to get power. Some kind of power fantasy YA novel bullshit crap where you’re A Special Flower. Wizards wrest knowledge from the universe through hard work. Also, wizard is my favorite of the three classes …] 

Ok, so, interactivity. You gotta go through each of the nine rooms. They each have some kind of challenge devised by the wizard. The challenges are going to be framed with a certain wryness. So, in the clearest example, to get in to the dungeon you have to answer a couple of riddles. The riddler begins with “ Here, we celebrate the glory of Tog the Inexorable, Tog the Impossible, Tog the Immutable, Tog the Intangible. Who is the greatest wizard of all?” The answer, of course, is Tog. That’s funny. Ok, humor is subjective and _I_ find it funny. There’s a bit of a wink from the designer in this. It never quite falls in to being a joke adventure, which are all shitty as fuck. It instead remains in the realm of those early adventures like Dungeon of the Bear and Grimtooth. Not in a deathtrap way, or punny way, but with a kind of hint toward both. 

The first room, “Illusion” is a good example. When you go in you are immediately turned invisible (and, of fucking course, the fucking door slams shut behind you. Fucking challenge dungeon bullshit.) Bound to the room is a VISIBLE stalker. Who is depressed. “Unable to see its victims, the creature has suffered countless humiliating encounters. It now uses small talk as both a form of therapy and a method to pinpoint the location of intruders.” It’s taken the normal encounter and kind of turned it ninety degrees, yes? Is it s a gimmick? Absolutely. But, it’s a challenge dungeon. 

The rest of the encounters replicate this kind of obtuse encounter type. Things are more than a bit askew in here. In terms of a challenge dungeon it is certainly in the realm, if we squint hard enough, of Tower of Gygax. The dungeon throws the players off balance in various ways, with a little (snark?) mixed in. I am MUCH more down for this type of challenge dungeon than a simple series of skill checks and combats. There is an air of Grimtooth room traps about the place. Not really traps, but in the setup of the rooms. And this includes a couple of meta things, like “Each player must secretly write down a single word describing their character’s current emotional state, without discussing it with the other players, and pass it to the GM.” Which then builds an Emotions Golem in the room. I always raise my eyebrows at the emo stuff, but this is a decent implementation of it.

Formatting is meh. The background of the pages are a beige parchment color with the text being light grey and the font something with some flourishes and varying stroke weight. This combines to make things harder than it should be to read the thing, but it’s not impossible. When some words show up in italics it’s a pain though, given this combination. There tends to be a little read-aloud section offset in a darker grey, and then a longish section of DM text that explains the room, with several very short paragraphs following that expand on things. It does an ok job, a little subpar, and is on the edge of being a pain but not quite there, especially given the obtuse nature of the rooms. 

So it’s a challenge dungeon, maybe most similar to White Plume with just a little meta and snark thrown in. Maybe “the California Style” will be recognizable, and never really goes full on jokey or too meta. I’m allergic to all challenge dungeons, but if I were looking for one for a one shot sort of thing as an activity this one WOULD come to mind, chiefly because of the askew nature of the challenges.

This is $8 at DriveThru. The preview is eight spread pages (the PDF is spreads also. ARG!) so you get about thirteen pages of content, enough to show a large portion of the dungeon. A brief perusal will show the Grimtooth Rooms as diagrams, and the PDF is more than apt in showing you what to expect, so good preview.

https://www.drivethrurpg.com/en/product/573505/tomb-of-tog?1892600

By Gina Marie Funk
Witch Pleas Publishing
OSR/5e/DCC
Level 5

As the ashes of the last battle between Sydonia’s Sidereal Sailors and the Unseen Web settle, the Gods of the Pantheon stir within Mentius. And into this crucible of epic conflict, with the globe’s fate in the balance, come the player characters.

Holy Fuckballs!

This 57 page bat shit crazy adventure uses 55 pages to describe four levels, each with about seventeen rooms, in an “abandoned” power-center of the greco-roman gods. It’s laid out clearly and described well, but fuck all that shit. It is bat shit crazy from start to finish in the best way possible. This is a fucking adventure for level fives!

Look man, I’m gonna do my best here but I’m gonna fail.

There are factions here. This was/is a place of power for the greco-roman gods. Kind of an R&R spot. Being the greco-roman gods, there was a lot of backstabbing, jealousy, cheating, plotting and the like. The place kind of falls, in an epic way. At some point some aliens, who look like thri-kreen, show up on our world and are not secretly manipulating it for the ends of their galaxy-spanning powerful empire. A sorceress finds out, manages to not die, and is now plotting to toss them out. To do that she’s going to tap in to the power of the place, which is currently being limited by an artifact on the lowest of the four levels, along with her space-pirate minions. They’ve just finished a big battle which has broken the back of the alien dudes in the complex. “Wow, that’s a lot Bryce!” Fuck you man, I’m just getting started! She’s also got allies in the Blackfire goblins, who the aliens have started a rebellion in as a last desperate act. Also, they have a couple of spies in her inner circle, including a lover and a daughter. And then, of course, the gods have various feuds and plots going on. The party can get mixed up in ALL of this, leading to various outcomes, some of which might result in the party having power bases in the complex, as in Domain play bases, at the end. Before I got in all this the adventure noted fifteen  to twelve sessions of play with the party potentially rising to nine. “Pfft!” I thought, “that’s bullshit.“ Then I got in to all of it. Fuck me man, this thing GOES HARD. (Spoilers: Mankind/Spiderkind left the gods behind for a reason; almost every outcome is better if the gods gets fucked over hard. Don’t trust a word they say. Or, do, just know they don’t give a fuck an will, in the end, fuck over mortals fuck shit over.) Oh, hey, check that, I mean the best outcome is prob just killing everyone in the place.

During my review process I go through the thing, copying and pasting examples of shit I see, good and bad. This is from the very first room, the entrance “Rusted iron gates, cyclopean in size, leading into a palatial wall. Flanked by stained, cracked statues of the 12 Gods of the Pantheon, in knee-high water. Stairs lead to the gates, submerged in up to 40’ of sea water. A cave octopus ambushes from a 80’ deep sinkhole at the foot of the stairs.” Cyclopean, ruster, palatial. Flanked, cracked. Great use of words to paint a picture. Not every room is like this, but more than enough of them are, in a terse format, to make the impact of room after room felt. 

Further, looking at the overall encounter, this great water filled pit partially submerging the stairs you need to use, and the watch in the water lurking there, setting up a reimagined Moria scene. EVen the whole 80 foot deep thing, with a place for the creature to flee to when morale breaks and hiding his treasure in lair. Treasure? The Crown of King Hyperion and the Sunbeam Banded Mail. Good use of banded mail in greco-roman theming. Oh, also, that mail? “it depicts Helios bedding a woman on the breastplate.”  yeah yeah, coins and shit also, but golden magic crown and sunbeam banded mail that sheds lght? Count me in!

Strong fantasy vibes here. Strong grec-roman vibes. And some of that weird technology shit. Space pirates in a space trireme floating off the ground. Blaster rifles. The spider aliens have armed the goblin rebels with blaster rifles. “12’ tall mantid with 8 spider-like limbs and an arachnid head with massive mandibles. Clad in iridescent high-tech armor, it wields 4 plasma swords.” I know this is a turn off for some of you, but, man, it rocks and I don’t think it goes too hard. Maybe a bit Thundarr, if you lean a little more fantasy.  This is., by farm the wackiest thing “A stone-faced time traveler from 1980s America with a mane of dark hair, eyepatch and sleeveless shirt. Lover of Pele and Magic User with a lionness cub familiar, Spoon.” That one goes a little hard, but s by far the worst of it. 

There is so much here to negotiate your way through, literally and figuratively. Sure, you can talk to some people. Other attack first and may take captives. In other areas we get to the figurative, with obstacles and scenes to pick your way through and find solutions, or those pseudo set-pieces, like the entrance octopus. Venus is trapped under the net of Hephaestus. Wanna talk with Jupiter and do something for him? Underwater sections. Circe. The Kraken. And man it all fits in well and doesn’t come across as just being tossed in out of nowhere. 

If you can handle the techno influence of the space pirates then this one is a no fucking brainer. I lost count of how many mythic figures, and even gods, you could get to stabbin if circumstance or whim calls out to you. It mentions Thracia and Dark Tower in the marketing and those vibes are spot on. 

I am SO fucking down! Complex mid level adventuring.

This is $16 at DriveThru. There’s no fucking preview! That’s a crime against humanity! Show a couple of rooms to us before we buy so we can know it’s a good fit!

https://www.drivethrurpg.com/en/product/578722/the-mouth-of-mentius-ose-pdf?1892600

By Inkblot Gibberling
Self Published
OSE/5E
"Low Levels"

The Bragazzi crime family runs the Backstage, an illegal casino and mushroom-juicing drug laboratory hidden behind an opera-costume shop. Steal their stuff.

This fourteen page adventure presents about twenty locations in an illicit gambling establishment. It wants to be a heist movie. It doesn’t provide you the tools needed to be a heist movie. It’s also clearly 5e.

I’ve got a lot of issues. And ten also this adventure is a mess. It’s going for some Oshean 11 vibes. It doesn’t know how to pull that off. It’s got a couple of tone issues. It’s trying to get fancy with the formatting and not pulling it off. And it is not OSE.

Let us start with this statement from the adventure “This module attempts to be system-agnostic. Where relevant, combat statistics are offered for” Someone clearly has written a blog post recently about how 5e and OSE are the same power level because I’ve seen a recent trend of adventures being listed as 5e and OSE and generic/universal all in the same breathe. I guess, yes, it’s generic/universal in the same way that every adventure is generic/universal if you just ignore the stats and skill checks. There’s a reference to both a 5e monster and an OSR monster (fighter 4 or Tough Boss MM25.) In other places we get things like “Safe: Locked with an arcane lock to increase lockpicking difficulty [+10].” I guess that 5e? I’m not morally opposed to a fantasy gambling location that is roughly universal and stats thrown in as examples, but the skill check thing throws it off every time. Also, one of the guards is invisible, and drinks a potion every hour to stay invisible. This says something about the game world and is perhaps the most jarring. You can reskin cat-people to be humans but something like the prevalence of magic, and relying on it for a core part of the adventure, just throws things off. (To be clear, there are no cat people in this adventure, or any other ren-faire tropes.) 

The core conceit here is a heist. It’s in the title. One of the hooks involves getting a bank teller out who is currently being coerced by the mob, by punching him in the face, to give the gang the security features of the bank. You’re told, by your patron “The rescue can’t involve any bodies and can’t involve any Bragazzi seeing anything suspicious. His escape must appear to be a series of plausible coincidences.” This is one of the hooks. Another hook is just a straight up robbery. The heist, the plausible deniability, these imply some things that the adventure should have that it just lacks. You want to case the place, right? The classic heist involves a casing. Scoping it out and then coming up with a wacky plan to execute that will inevitably go wrong, as these things do in D&D. The guards are noted on the map, which is good. A few have a routine (with two dudes taking leaks with a frequency that makes my BPH look like a dream.) This is about the extent of the support you get here. Working against this is the current goings-on in the gambling den. The teller is actively getting the shit beaten out of him. The NPC’s, the notable other gamblers, are, I guess, just always there, in your case and during your heist. There is a degree of randomness as well, for people present in hallways, that works against a heist. Sure, things can go wrong. “Oh no, I wasn’t expecting the wine delivery!” but there needs to be some degree of consistency that the degree of randomness in the people present in locations, randomly, works against. This makes the adventure much less of a heist and much more of the usual “lets just try something and start hacking when things go wrong” sort of loosy goosy approach that most adventure raids have. There too much in the writing that frames it as HAPPENING RIGHT NOW instead of COULD HAPPEN DURING THE HEIST. And the entire premise of the “coincidences”, I think, works against the level range here. It would require a lot of skills and magic items and spells that just are not going to be present at low levels. 

Tonally this is off also, in places. I’m not thrilled that the old ‘italians are mobsters” thing is relied upon. There’s no reason for that in a generically fantasy rpg. Pulp Fiction was fine without relying on these tropes. Further, there is, I think, generally a more light-hearted tone to a heist. And that is pretty consistent throughout this. After all, these are gamblers, right? As far as things go, screwing the tax man is a time honored tradition. But then, in the drug den upstairs, we get the gang doing some weird vivisection/bleeding of people to drain juice from them as a drug. This is probably a bridge too far. We have crossed the boundary from simple gambling and drug dealing to torture. We’re not even soylent greening here, more to the point of Thorns prediction about being raised as cattle.  We are now in the “muder every last one of them” category, even in my skewed murder hobo vision of D&D. It’s not that either tone is wrong, but it’s the mixing of them. You CAN discover something more evil afoot in an adventure, but then you have to be prepared for the consequences. And they here for a zany madcap ending in which you free them and they run around every which direction in some kind of 1930’s madcap comedy manner. You can manage finding the EVIL HORRIBLE THING in the pickpockets house, but then the adventure needs to support that. And this doesn’t. 

There’s a page or so up front that tells you how to read the formatting being used. Nothing too special here or weird; bolding, room names, etc. I would note though that if you need a page to describe your formatting them its probably not intuitive formatting. In practice, though, I think the formatting has issues. It’s hard to see room breaks, or sub-area breaks, and things tend to seem to run together. I think some line breaks are really what’s needed here in order to provide some additional separation between different sub-areas of room and concepts. The bolding tends to run together otherwise and the sub-areas get lost. 

I don’t think it’s a heist, as least not with the content provided. The tone stuff, with the mushroom, seems off to me and not supported either. 

 This is free at DriveThru. The preview is the entire thing. I would maybe look at page seven of the preview for an idea of the jumble. 

https://www.drivethrurpg.com/en/product/571925/the-backstage-heist?1892600