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HackMoor 2018/04/05 Level 10 and King Funk III
Games are (usually) on Thursday nights sometime after 6:30PM at World's Best Comics, 9714 Warwick Blvd Newport News, Virginia 23601.

We had a Steak pizza with fresh lumps of Mozzarella and Garlic.



If you haven't guessed by now, Gorignak is an Earth Elemental.

Gorignak was in a friendly mood, so Numrendir cast a "Comprehend Languages" spell, knowing this would be a one-way conversation.  Gorignak, having lived in this dungeon since its beginning aeons ago was quite patient and wise, and understood what Numrendir was doing.  (While wise, Earth Elementals are still limited to one language by their Intelligence score, and Modern Standard Common wasn't it.)

Numrendir learned from Gorignak there were "Pig Noses" and "Small Giants" living on this level.  (Orcs and Ogres respectively). and Gorignak uses Ooze Para-elementals to run errands for him.

The party was about to wrap this conversation up and decide which way to go, when from the Southeast passage from Gorignak's lair comes this large Orc, apparently the twin brother of the Orc just slain last session.  (I rolled snake-eyes to get this encounter, just like his twin.)  Not wanting to let a good thing go, I had the Orc ask everyone in the room, "Has anyone seen Gronk my twin Brother?"

"You mean the one we just offed?", replied Gnomex, "his carcass is in the next room."

This of course necessitated another Honor Duel with the Orc (who called himself Stratra) who eventually lost.  This wasn't just any orc, it was an 8th Level Fighter Orc (like his twin).  High level Orcs are not normally allowed in HackMaster, but the module provided it.  Anyway, the last blow dealt brought Stratra down to exactly zero hit points, so Gnomex (since he was a Cleric), had a few segments to healed the Orc before it was considered Hackmaster dead.  It thus satisfied the Honor Duel and using movie-logic, put the Orc forever in Gnomex' debt.

A "take me to your leader" deal was struck with the proviso the Stratra could retrieve his dead brother in the next room for proper burial.  Thus laden, the Stratra led the party and its entourage to Orc territory, where they were challenged by the sentries but passed Stratra's word.  This included the Id Cultists, whom the Orc tribe was nominally at war with.

Stratra found his priests and took his brother to be entombed saying he'd be right back.  Allowing the party in their free time to tour local Orcdom, including the slave pens, brothel, and local bar and grill.  Especially the bar, while expensive, they found that this Orc tribes brew was quite good.  (It must have been the water in this dungeon as the pools they found were exceptionally clear and pure.)  They stopped at the entrance to the King's double-wide entrance doors where they were not permitted entry as there was a sign posted stating that "King Funk III Tours are held at the bottom of the hour" and it was the top.  

Meanwhile an Ooze Para-elemental appeared in the hallway carrying a waterproof pouch, it stopped by one of the guards, took a letter from the pouch and placed it in a puka near the entrance marked "King's Post" and departed.  (There was no explanation for this but the party learned later both Earth and Water Elementals living on this level employ Ooze Para-elementals to run errands and are this Level's Postal Service.)

Finally at the bottom of the hour, Stratra (who had just buried his brother) showed up and gained entrance to King Funk the Third's hall the by way of the nickel tour.  As if on queue a buxom female Orc in a slinky dress and stilletto's invited them in and they got the official tour.  When asked about having an audience with the King, she told them he was away in his Sensitive Compartmented Orc Facility making war plans.  

Finally the King arrived and the Party gained an audience.

These became diplomatic talks.  So the first question asked by the King was, "Why should we make a pact with you?  We have been at war for years!"

"Why not?", replied the Priestess of Id, "We're both Evil, Lawful Evil in Fact".

"Yes but we're still a different kind of Evil.", argued the King.

"Not so much, really, what's so different?", said the Priestess.

"At least we don't sacrifice an innocent child every Monday." , said the King.  (GM's note:  In game terms it was Sunday.)

The Priestess countered "Oh nooo.  You use slaves and when they're no longer any use, you eat them.  How is that so different?"

Even the King, faced with this form of logic relented.  A peace treaty was made and a deal struck.

They decided to trade muscle for supplies, notably since the cultists could pass as normal people outside the dungeon in Blackmoor.  They could obtain the hops and barley on the open Blackmoor market needed for the tasty Orc brew.  In return the Orcs (who are growing in ever increasing numbers) could build their forces to invade Blackmoor again and retake what King Funk the First lost long ago.  In due time Numrendir, who has the brewing skill, could lend his assistance.

The Party it was deemed, were free to continue further down the dungeon and explore.  Since no one in the Orc's dominion had ever returned from that direction, the King deemed it a safe bet.

To seal the deal the High Priestess Cultist asked for a private audience in the King's Chambers.  They were gone only a few minutes and they both emerged with the familiar glowing blue eyes the party knew too well.  

"One last request,", the Priestess said and whispered in the King's ear.  The King then summoned one of the guards and gave private instructions.  The guard returned shortly with an innocent slave child tied to a rope.

"Thanks, we'll be leaving now,", said the Priestess,  "we have a ceremony to prepare for."

"IDspeed." replied the King.  And the Cultists left.

Now the Party, no longer followed by Cult observers were led by the King to the stairs leading down to Level Eleven.  "Beware the trap.", informed the King as he pulled down a lever.  "The scything blades along both walls are the only thing that keeps the lower critters out and there is no off switch at the bottom."

"How do we get back up if there is no off switch?",  asked Gnomex.

"I'll keep guards posted, when you need to get back up just call out the password.", replied the King.

Gnomex had to ask, "What's the Password?"


Thus warned, the party went down.






Grok the Dwarf, a third level WitchRanger (Battlemage subclass of Magic User).
Aerys, an Elvariel, a Fingersmith (Thief class).
Baronet Huang - a Master of the West Wind of the Stone Tiger Order, (Monk class).
Numrendir - a human Conjurist (a Conjuror, Magic User subclass)
Junkbot Jackson - a human Tracker/Friar (a Ranger 5th and Cleric 6th level).

Baronetess Honda - a Human Datai Samurai, Steward of Catan (formerly Temple of the Frog)
Gnomex, a Gnome Adept of Geardal Ironhand (Cleric class.)
Tanzen - a Fae-Born first level Exciter. (Fourth level Invoker, a Magic User subclass).
Fundisha - a half-Elf Swordsperson/Tout (Fighter and Infiltrator, a Thief subclass).

Gerry Castagere, human Fingersmith, (Thief class) and ever loving devotee of Elefus, abandoned to the Blood Cult in the City of Brass on the Plane of Fire.

Felipe the Dwarf, a third level Sigil (Chosen One subclass of Cleric).
Jacko, an Albino Dork Elf, a Master Espion (Infiltrator, subclass of Thief).
Serena 2.0 - First Level Battle Mage Second (a Protege of Jacko).  
Sir Weasel, human Guild Soldier, Warlock, & Champion (Thief, Magic User, & Fighter classes) he stayed back in BlackMoor.
- and nine Pilgrim henchmen of various levels. (They wear hoodies.)
Slade Wilson - Dwarven Professional (a Bounty Hunter, Fighter subclass) Left behind at Catan.





This is also posted on three forums, and a blog.
Tracy Johnson


Attached is the map for the previous week with the party's visit with King Funk III.  Click to view.

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Tracy Johnson



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